Be This Way
By Maquis Leader
Author’s note: Post Goodbye To Camelot, forget Sully's monologue. This story is a prequel to If Heaven Was A Tear: It doesn't matter which order they're read in. They were written backwards.
“It’s nice today, isn’t it? Not too hot.”
Faith leaned against the cool stone. Looking up, she smiled at the bright blue sky. “I like it like this. Sunny, but kinda cool. A good day to just sit and talk, huh, Bos?”
Maybe it was the grass and flowers, but Faith loved sitting here. It was the most peaceful place in the city as far as she was concerned, and it always made her feel better to just sit and talk with Bosco. Her life was crazy these days.
“So… I’ve got a date Friday.” She laughed. “Me on a date? What’dya think about that?
“Yeah, I know, Bos – about time I got out of the apartment and had a little fun.
“You remember Miller, don’t you? The guy who ran Anti-Crime for awhile?” She smiled. “Everybody says he’s a complete jerk.”
She thought about that for a few moments. Everyone had told her what a jerk Bosco was, too. For years. “Guess I’ll have to see.
“I like Major Crimes – kinda weird ‘cos we get the really nasty stuff. But I tell ya, Bosco, it’s really satisfying to lock up someone after seeing the damage they’ve done. It’s real police work – fighting crime.
“Of course, I can’t seem to find a decent partner. You’d think at least one person in the entire NYPD would be able to work with me.” Looking next to her, Faith grinned. “There’s nobody like you, I guess. Pisses me off to have to explain things to somebody – me and you just knew what to do – without talking and without explaining.
“I’m talking to myself a lot these days.” She shrugged and tipped her face up to enjoy the sunshine.
Resting against the cool stone, the sun on her face, Faith sighed. “I could sit here forever, Bos.”
A young couple walked past and Faith opened her eyes, watching them. The woman was crying and holding a small bouquet of flowers.
“I finally got all the stuff moved out of the apartment. Me and Emily – well, you know. Too many memories.” She arched an eyebrow. “Not to mention the blood never would come out of the carpet.
“God, I miss you, Bosco.” Another sigh escaped her. “It hurts like hell – I miss you not being around.
“I just figured I’d see you every day and every night.” Tears welled up, and she blinked them back. “Sometimes… sometimes I turn and I think I see you standing there. Then I blink – and you’re not there.
“I feel like I’m losing touch sometimes. Maybe I’m going nuts?” Forcing the tears back, Faith rested her arm along the edge of the stone. “I feel lucky that I had the chance to know you, Bosco. To be your friend and to love you. I’m lucky I had the chance to love this much.
“My mom says I need to stop talking to you. Even your mom – she says I need to just move on.”
A woman walked by, shooting a glance her way before hurrying off.
Faith laughed. “You should see these people looking at me sitting here talking to this stone. You’d get a bang out of it, Bos.”
She turned and traced her fingers over the letters carved into the marble. Maurice Boscorelli.
“Everybody thinks I’ve lost my mind.” Beloved son and friend. “But I’m just taking things day by day, you know?
“I just figured you’d be here – every minute of every day.” May 8, 2005. “You were there and then just gone so fast.”
Another sigh, deep and from her heart, and she rested her head back against the cool stone once more. A whisper of air brushed her cheek. “Sometimes I swear I hear you or I feel you touch me – but nobody’s there.”
“If I’d never met you – never seen your face – then I probably wouldn’t be this way. But it was like… “ A smile curved her lips as she imagined the look on his face. “Like God gave me a moment’s grace in letting me know you, Bosco.”
The sun was warm on her skin and another soft breeze ruffled her hair.
“So I’ve got this date on Friday...
“Everybody says I’m crazy…” There was a movement off to one side, and Faith turned her head.
No one was there.
“Guess we’ll have to see.”
This was inspired by the song Probably Wouldn't Be This Way It's a sweet, sad song, and the first time I heard it – I was caught totally off guard by the verse that reveals she's talking to his headstone.
Probably Wouldn't Be This Way Composed by John Davis Kenned and Tammi Lynn Kidd. Sung By LeeAnn Rimes
If Heaven Was A Tear: The prequel story that tells how Faith came to be sitting by Bosco's grave.