By Maquis Leader
Rated: Um… PG13
Author’s note: Spoilers for Smile Time. Sort of… For Ralkana who kept saying she thought this would be cute.
“Angel?” Buffy looked around Angel’s office. “Angel, are you in here?”
The office was empty. “Great. This whole place weirds me out and I only came here to see you and you’re not here.”
Walking around the office, she looked at the pictures and artwork. The sword on the wall behind the desk caught her eye. Big and old. “Oh, shiny and sharp, Buffy’s favorite.”
As she stepped behind the desk, she thought she caught movement from the corner of her eye. “Angel?” Turning, she saw there was something in the big leather chair. A doll of some kind.
“Playing with dolls? Okay, this is a beyond weird place.” Lifting up the doll, she looked at it. “Oh my God! It’s an Angel doll!”
Damn it! Why didn’t I hide under the desk?
“You’re so cute!”
Cute, just what I’m going for. Angel heaved a mental sigh. Just get it over with and – what the?
“And so soft and cuddly.” She hugged the doll and kissed the soft, dark hair. “A bit much with the spiky hair. You haven’t had it like that in a while. And all broody, poor baby.”
It was a moral dilemma. Speak up and tell her the truth and have her put him down. Or keep the face full of boobs. Like that was even a choice? He wondered what it would feel like to run his felt tongue over the golden flesh.
“Let’s go see if Angel is upstairs.” Buffy held the doll up and kissed his nose. “It is daytime, maybe he’s sleeping.”
The elevator opened for her, which was good, because there were no buttons. “Star Trek, very cool.” Inside, she pondered the buttons before pushing the top one. “Penthouse, he said. Very unvamp like.”
The ride was quick, and she stepped out in front of the doors leading into the apartment. They were locked. “Angel.” She knocked.
More cuddling. Angel wished he could smile, but his puppet face wouldn’t let him.
“Angel.” Tired of waiting, she turned the knob until the lock snapped. “Oops… how clumsy of me. You won’t tell, will you?”
Won’t have to.
“Angel.” She walked through the apartment. “Hey, lazybones! The Slayer is here, aren’t you scared I’ll stake you in your sleep?”
Not until now, no.
“Where are you?” The big bed was empty and neatly made. She sat down on the edge of it and held the doll up to rub her cheek against his. “Where are you – what if you’re hurt?”
He started to speak up, but Buffy shook her head. “No. Wes said he was here somewhere.”
Once again he had a face full of boobs. Speak up or inhale vanilla skin? Not even a choice there, Monty. Forget what’s behind Door Number One.
“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” She stood up. “I’ll just take you home and keep you. You won’t leave me, will you?”
“Buffy, why would I – “ He was flying through the air as she shrieked. A real, true scream like a person would hear in a horror movie. UnBuffylike. He hit the wall. Luckily he was fabric, and he bounced.
“What – what are you?” Recovering her wits, Buffy ran after the doll and grabbed it up. “Are you a voodoo doll? What have you done with Angel?”
“Buffy, it’s me.” He tried to look earnestly into her eyes as much as he could, considering his eyes were cloth. “Angel.”
“Angel? You’re –“ The gray eyes narrowed. “Say something only Angel would know.”
“Uh…” Wonderful. Twenty questions with the Slayer. A pissed off Slayer. He’d heard her scream like a girl. No way she was letting him live. “You like me to growl when I – “
“Say something else!” Her face turned red.
“What? Oh jeez….” Like anyone else knew what she liked when it came to sex? “Oh I know! Remember when I said that when I kiss you that you won’t wake up and you said when I kissed you, you wanted to die.”
“Yeah…” She smiled at the memory, and then her smile faded. “Which is incredibly not romantic now that I think about it.”
“You just warned me off the romantic stuff.”
“You’re a doll.”
“Technically, I’m a puppet.” He tried to smile but again was limited by his face.
“Very appropriate, I think.” Buffy sat back on the bed once again and lifted him up to eye level. She flinched when he brought a hand up to her face.
“No, I’m sorry, this is weird.” She kissed his soft cheek.
“You think it’s weird?” He tried to kiss back but his mouth didn’t kiss any more than it smiled. “I’m the puppet here.”
“Poor baby.” She cuddled him. “I’m sure Wes will figure out how to fix this.”
“Just not too soon?” He ran a felt hand over her breasts. Not the same, damn!
“Pervert.” Giggling, Buffy laid back and held him to her breasts.
Damn! I don’t have a dick!
She sat up and almost dropped Angel as Wes came into the bedroom. “Hi. Just sitting here and talking. Nothing perverted.”
Only because I’m not anatomically correct. “Any ideas, Wes?”
Wes smiled. None that I’m willing to share. “We have an idea of how to change you back.” He motioned to the doorway. “If you’ll both come back downstairs.”
Buffy lifted Angel up. “Can I get one? My own Angel doll?”
“Perhaps.” The former Watcher winked at her. “If we can’t change him back, you can take him home with you.”
“Hey!” He glared at Wes. Hey… maybe I can sleep on the bed. He snuggled his face into Buffy’s breasts as she carried him back downstairs. Should have kept my mouth shut…
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