By Maquis
Leader
Author’s note: I’ve taken one liberty with Endgame. I moved the scene between Chakotay and Seven
where he begged her not to dump him (gag) to the night before Admiral Janeway
took her shuttle into the nebula. Personally,
I didn’t think he’d be in astrometrics five minutes before starting their
attack on the transwarp hub. Basically what you saw on TV -- you see here as
well. Except with a twist and the right J/C ending,
of course.
Author’s note 2: A big thanks to Cress for bugging me to enter the Artist contest. I played with my Remembering Chakotay picture and it ended up looking really cool.
Chakotay was slightly uncomfortable under Admiral Janeway’s
scrutiny. She was looking at him as if
she hadn’t seen him in a very long time.
Hungrily, as if he were a rabbit and she was a wolf that hadn’t eaten in
a long time. “Relax, Chakotay, I won’t
bite.” The corner of her mouth lifted
in a crooked smile. “Not too hard
anyway.”
He smiled in return and relaxed against the back of the
sofa.
“That smile should be illegal.” She laughed. “How did I ever manage to resist you all those
years?”
“You tell me and we’ll both know.” He smiled again.
Handing him a cup of tea, she sat on the sofa next to
him. “Don’t flirt with me. I’m old enough to be your mother, hell,
maybe even your grandmother.”
He laughed. “I’d
never mistake you for my mother, Kathryn, or my grandmother.”
Patting his leg, she let her hand rest on his thigh. “You’re
lying, but I love you for it.”
The words made his heart beat faster. Even at her age, Admiral Janeway was still a
beautiful woman. Sitting here with him,
she looked younger than she had when she first appeared on the main
screen. She was smiling a mysterious
smile and the lines and bitterness had faded.
Her thumb rubbed circles on his thigh and he felt himself hardening in
response. The smoky blue eyes were
looking at him as if he were the only man in the universe. He knew he should look away and break eye
contact with her, but it was too easy to bask in her attention. Too easy to let her feed his male ego with
her obvious adoration. Now if only his
Kathryn Janeway would look at him this way.
Lifting a hand to her hair, Chakotay rubbed the silver
strands between his fingers. “Is this
from putting up with me all these years?”
“I started going gray about six months ago. Almost overnight.” She patted her hair self consciously. “I’m still not quite used to it, but I’m too vain to dye it.”
“You’re still a beautiful woman, Kathryn.”
“And you were always so handsome.” Her hand came up to touch his tattoo, traced it lovingly. “Chakotay…” she followed the blue-black
lines in their ever connecting pattern.
“Kathryn?” Her lower
lip was trembling and tears had pooled in the blue eyes. Had he hurt her so terribly that it affected
her this much years later?
Leaning forward, she placed a kiss where her fingers had
been, freeing them to slide into his raven hair. Resting her cheek against his, she breathed in his unique
scent. Warm, masculine, and spicy. God, how she’d missed him!
His arms went around her to cradle her to his chest, hands
stroking her quivering back and shoulders.
“Shh… everything will be okay.”
Her lips touched his temple, his cheek, and then before he realized, she
was kissing him. Gently but thoroughly,
her tongue slipping past his lips as he gasped in surprise.
When he didn’t respond, she pulled back. His arms tightened suddenly, holding her
against him. His mouth slanted across
hers, tongue plunging in to taste her.
The scent of her surrounded him and intoxicated him, making his blood
burn through his veins.
Her hands moved over his broad shoulders and down his
chest. Pulling down the zipper of his
jacket, she slid her hand inside to caress the muscles under the gray shirt,
her fingers brushed one of his nipples and it hardened instantly for her.
“Wait.” Chakotay
pushed her back gently. “I can’t.”
“I know, I know.
You’re not mine.” She rested her
head on his shoulder. “I’ve missed your
gentleness.”
“Kathryn –” the chirp of his combadge interrupted him.
“Seven of Nine to Chakotay.”
Looking away from the Admiral, he tapped his badge.
“Chakotay here.”
“Commander, our – “ Seven paused. “Meeting was scheduled for 2200 hours. It is now 2210.”
“I’m in a – “ It was his turn to pause. “ A meeting right now.”
Admiral Janeway laid her hand on his forearm. “I need to talk to you, please stay,
Chakotay.” He turned to look at her. “ I promise to keep my hands to myself.”
“Seven, I’m going to have to cancel tonight. I have a friend who needs to talk to me.”
“Understood. Can we
reschedule for tomorrow morning?”
“I’ll let you know.
Chakotay out.”
“Thank you.” The
Admiral took a PADD out of the small bag she’d carried on board with her. “Before you read this, I want you to know
that I didn’t tell him then because I thought it would only embarrass him. I didn’t think it was important. I was wrong.”
He took the PADD from her, eyebrows raised at her cryptic
statement. The stardate was roughly
three months earlier. “This is your
personal log.”
“Yes and my official log as well.” Her gaze was steady and true.
To hell with the temporal prime directive.
He read the contents, shock changing to anger as he read about Seven’s holodeck experiments into human emotion. “She used me? To – to practice?” The dark eyes glittered angrily. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“I thought it would hurt you, and I was right.” She rubbed her forehead. “I called her on the carpet. Told her and the Doctor to keep their mouths
shut and told her to never do this type of thing again.”
“And you didn’t think I should know?” The words were forced past clenched teeth.
“Not then, no. Now,
yes.” She sighed. “I couldn’t see where
it would do anything but harm. I was
happy that you’d finally managed to be more than just civil to Seven. If I’d known she’d go after the real thing –
I would have let her keep playing with the damn hologram.”
“This didn’t make you angry?” Chakotay threw the PADD
down. “Didn’t you care?”
“Of course I cared, Chakotay. I was madder than hell!
As far as I was concerned, you were mine and she could keep her mitts
off.” Taking a hypospray from the bag,
she adjusted the setting and placed it to her neck. “On the other hand, I was happy she wanted to be more human. I didn’t want to set back her progress.”
Chakotay took the hypospray from her before she could put it
away. “Tetracynel?”
“A new migraine medication the Doctor developed. I gave up coffee, I couldn’t give up the
headaches.” The hypo went back into her
bag. “ Little did I know that Seven
would decide to start a real relationship with you. Her hologram hadn’t been anything like you. She’d edited the parameters until you were
more like a teenage boy than a man. In
her program, she slept with you but there was no sex.”
“She may not have been too far off. She’s scared and shy. I’ve been taking
things very slowly with her. Not
wanting to let her see what a man can be like.” Chakotay shook his head angrily.
“I’m such a fool.”
“You’re a kind man, Chakotay. Gentle and sensitive.” She patted his cheek. “And naïve as
hell. How did you ever survive as a
Maquis? You’ve been taken advantage of
so many times.”
His eyes narrowed. “Thanks for understanding.”
“I wouldn’t have you any other way. You’re a good man.” Her arms went around him again for a quick
hug. “I didn’t know that you and Seven
were dating. You were very
discrete. Not until the night you told
me you wouldn’t be going with me on shore leave to this beautiful little planet
we’d found. You would be going with
Seven.” Her eyes closed.
“So, where do you want to go first, Chakotay?”
“Kathryn, I – I’m not going to go with you.”
“What?” Kathryn turned from the viewport where she’d been
watching the blue and green planet turn.
“Don’t tell me you’re not taking leave?
This place is a paradise.
There’s hot springs…”
“I’ll be going down with Seven.”
“Seven? Do you want
her to come with us?” She stopped. “You want to be alone with her?”
“Yes.” Chakotay
looked at the floor, the sofa, anywhere but her eyes. “Seven and I have been seeing each other for the past two
months.”
“When? I’ve never
seen – “ He’d stopped joining her for dinner and then lunch. She rarely saw him off duty anymore. How
could she not have seen what was happening?
“I see.”
“Seven’s new to this sort of thing. We wanted to keep it quiet. But now – “
“But now things have changed?”
“I – I care for her, Kathryn. And I want it to be out in the open.”
“I’m happy for you.”
She forced a smile onto her face.
“Kathryn, I don’t mean to hurt you.” He stepped towards her.
“Why would you think it would hurt me? We’re only friends, after all.”
“You’re right. What
was I thinking?” His jaw hardened. “Only friends.”
The door snapped shut behind him and her heart snapped in
two. Falling to the floor, she clutched
her chest; the pain was agonizing, crushing her. Sobs tore out of her.
“You promised… you promised… you promised…”
“Kathryn?”
She opened her eyes.
The pain in her heart was as strong as it had been that day 26 years
ago.
“Kathryn, are you okay?” Chakotay had become concerned when
she’d clutched her chest. “Do you need to go to sickbay?”
“There’s no cure for a broken heart, Chakotay.” She sighed.
“Except time. Or so they tell
me.”
“I never meant to hurt you.” He said it for himself and for his other self in the Admiral’s
timeline. Hurting Kathryn was the very
last thing he wanted.
“I’ve always said that if I’d known, I’d have fought for
you.” She laughed bitterly. “I’d
forgotten how stubborn I could be.
She’s pretending she’s happy for you – just like I did.”
“You’re not here to save Seven, are you?” He got up from the sofa. “You’re not here to save Tuvok or even
Voyager.” Kathryn had told him what the Admiral had told her about Seven’s
death and Tuvok’s illness.
“No, I’m here to save us.” She stood up as well, grasping the front of his jacket. “Voyager will get home earlier, Tuvok will be cured, and Seven will be saved. But I’m here for us! I’ll do whatever it takes!”
“Then how do I know you didn’t make all this up?”
“Feel free to ask your Kathryn – better yet ask Seven. Hell, check my logs. Do you want my security codes?” She sat back down on the sofa. “I can
wait. After all, I have nothing but
time.”
“I do not understand your anger, Chakotay. You were the most logical choice. You are kind and caring and you have proven
you can be discrete. After all, you
have kept your feelings from the Captain for seven years.”
“Logical? I thought
you had some feeling for me!”
“I do care for you.
I wish to form a collective with you – “
“A collective?” He
backed away. His old fear of the Borg
resurfaced.
“I – I believe I love you.”
Seven struggled with the strange feelings. “I am anxious to see you and unhappy when you are not with me.”
“You used me to – feel – to – “ Turning, he smashed a fist
into a console.
Startled, Seven backed away. Chakotay had never displayed
violent tendencies previously. He
appeared angry and hurt as a result of her actions. “I do not understand.”
Was this what the Admiral had meant when she had told her that Chakotay
would be hurt because of her?
“You can’t use people – experiment with feelings and
emotions! I’m not a hologram!”
“The hologram was a mistake, I understand that now. Captain Janeway pointed out to me that such
programs are unethical and can result in hurt feelings. I complied.”
“And I’m the guinea pig to help you with these ‘real life
experiences’?” He slapped his hands
down on the console. Chakotay was so
angry that tremors shook his body. “I’m
honored!”
“You were the logical choice.” Seven repeated. His anger
disturbed her and she felt uneasy. Was
this fear?
“Our little scene in
Astrometrics tonight – you wanting to end it – was that another experiment?
A real life experience? ”
“No – “ Perhaps if she explained it in a more logical
fashion? “I – I knew I could count on
your gentleness and kindness. Another
man might be forceful or inconsiderate of my wishes. I knew that you would wait until I was ready to initiate a sexual
relationship.”
“Is that what you thought?”
He advanced on her, backing her against the storage racks. He was tired of being controlled. Tired of being kept on a leash like a dog.
“You thought you could control me?”
“I – I – “ she stuttered as he grabbed her arms. His mouth slammed down on hers. She tried to twist away, but he held her too
tightly. Strong fingers squeezed her
jaw painfully forcing her to open her mouth.
Chakotay thrust his tongue in and out of her mouth, fucking
her with his tongue and grinding his mouth against hers until he tasted blood
when her teeth cut into her lips. She
staggered as he stepped back. The ice
blue eyes were wide with fear. “Maybe
you need to see what being with a man is really like.”
Pushing her to the floor of the cargo bay, he held her down with his weight while he tore her jumpsuit down the front. He knew this was exactly why she’d chosen him over the other men on the ship. Her fear and hesitancy about sex had made her pick the one man she knew would never force her. He squeezed her breasts and ground his hips into hers, enjoying the terror in her eyes.
“Add this to your ‘real life experiences’, Seven.” Getting to his feet, he left her lying
frightened and crying on the cargo bay floor.
In his quarters, Chakotay sat on the floor under the
viewport. He’d calmed down during the
walk back and was appalled at what he’d done to Seven. He’d never been violent with a woman. Even with Seska’s betrayal, he’d kept his
emotions firmly in check.
Resting his head back against the bulkhead, he contemplated
the mess that was his life. He had a
Borg who wanted to form a collective with him, but please, no sex until I’m
ready. A Captain he loved who might
love him back but who refused to come out from behind the Starfleet
rulebook. And an Admiral who had 26
years on him and who’d profess her love and take him to bed in a heartbeat if
he asked. “Oh Spirits, help me.” He pleaded.
There was a crash in the bedroom.
Getting up, he moved quickly into the bedroom. Was there someone in his quarters? “Computer, is there anyone besides myself in here?”
“Negative.”
“Has anyone else been in my quarters?”
“Captain Janeway was present at 0730 hours.”
No one since Kathryn had stopped by to walk with him to the
mess hall this morning. Turning, he
noticed the picture of himself and Kathryn that he kept on the bedside table
had fallen to the floor. It was one
he’d taken on New Earth just days before Voyager had come back for them. He set it carefully back on the table.
Kathryn Janeway bolted upright in bed. Someone was in her quarters, right next to
her bed. “Computer lights!” She scrambled to the bedside table for the
phaser she kept there. “Chakotay?” He was sitting in the floor against the side
of the bed. The broad shoulders and
raven hair were unmistakable.
“Chakotay?” Crawling across the
bed, she leaned over to look at him.
“Kathryn.” He
answered softly.
“Are you okay? Are you sick?” His forehead felt cool.
“I have a pain. A
horrible pain.” His hands were pressed
to his chest.
“Oh my, God!
Sickbay! Medical
emergency!” Rolling off the bed to
kneel next to him, she ran her hands over him looking for an injury.
“Please state the nature of the medical emergency.” The Doctor materialized beside her.
“I don’t know, he says he’s in pain!”
The Doctor ran his medical scanner over Chakotay. “He’s
fine.”
“What?” She snatched
the scanner out of his hand. “There
must be something wrong with this. He
says he’s in horrible pain, help him!”
“He doesn’t look like he’s in any pain.” The hologram repossessed his scanner. “I’m sorry, you’re right. The first diagnosis was wrong.”
“See! Now help him!”
“He’s as healthy as an ox.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an expectant Klingon to check on.” The Doctor vanished.
“Wait! Come back here, you worthless excuse for a
tricorder!” Turning back to Chakotay,
Kathryn pulled his shirt up. There were
no marks on his chest. “What
happened? Is it something you ate? Did you – I’ll make him – “
“Kathryn, there’s no cure for a broken heart.” His voice was soft, almost a whisper.
Sitting back on her heels, she took in the mussed hair and
the despair in the lines of his body.
“Chakotay, look at me.” The
black velvet eyes were filled with an agony no medical scanner could ever
detect. A pain that tore at her
heart. She put her arms around him and
guided his head to her shoulder.
“I thought I could move on.
You don’t love me like I love you.”
“That’s not true.”
She stroked his hair. “I love
you, Chakotay, more than anything.”
“Not more than your precious Starfleet.”
“I could care less about Starfleet! I care about our crew. Our having a relationship could adversely
affect them.”
“Bullshit.”
“What?”
“I said bullshit.”
He pushed her away and got to his feet.
“You’re afraid. Plain and
simple.”
“I’m not afraid of anything.” She stood up as well.
“Bullshit.”
“Will you stop saying that?”
Leaning forward until his nose touched hers, Chakotay
repeated softly. “Bullshit.” Her eyes narrowed. “You’re a coward.” He added.
Anger boiled up in her.
How dare he suggest she was afraid just because she held onto her
Starfleet principles? Putting her hands
on his chest, she shoved him backwards.
Staggering back, the mattress hit him in the back of his
knees and he fell onto the bed.
“Kathryn, all you have to do is ask.”
He smiled as he lay back.
“It’ll be a cold day in hell!”
She stood over him, hands on her hips and breathing
hard. Chakotay could see her nipples
through the blue silk of her gown. He
grew hard as he watched her breasts rising and falling with each agitated
breath. “You want me, you’re just too
damn stubborn to admit it.”
“You’re deluded!”
“The Admiral kissed me.”
Grinning at the sight of her jaw dropping open, he added. “She groped
me, too.”
“You – she – you kissed her?”
“No. She
kissed me.” He licked his lips.
“Very thoroughly. You’re good with your tongue, Kathryn. Or did she learn that later?”
“That’s -- she’s – old!”
She sputtered.
“Older women make better lovers. I lost my virginity to a woman twice my age.” He closed his eyes. “Oh, now she knew what she was doing.”
First Seven and now the Admiral! Did everyone on her ship but her get to kiss her first
officer? “You let her kiss you? Why?”
“Why not? Maybe I
should go back and see if she wants company.”
He got up off the bed.
“You’d go to bed with her?
How could you?”
“She’s you, after all. Something’s better than
nothing.” Shrugging, he walked to the
bedroom door. “Maybe she’ll tell you what
you’ve been missing.”
Kathryn didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. It seemed ludicrous. The day before they got home, Chakotay was
going to cheat on her – with herself! “Wait!”
He stopped and turned. “Don’t
go.”
“If I stay…” He let the question trail off.
His meaning was clear.
He was tired of waiting. She
could admit she loved him and go to bed with him or he was gone. There were at least two other women on
Voyager who’d welcome him with open arms.
“Please, don’t go.”
Slowly, he came back to her giving her time to change her
mind. Gently cupping her face in his
hands, he lowered his head down until their lips almost touched. Content for the moment to breathe the same
air, Chakotay let his hands rest on the sides of her neck, his thumbs stroking
the soft skin.
Kathryn slid her arms around his waist and pulled him
closer. Rising up on her toes, she
pressed her lips against his. Her
tongue traced along the full bottom lip until his mouth opened to her.
His hands began moving over her body, one hand on her bottom
and the other squeezing one of her breasts through the cool silk. Pulling back, he lifted her in his arms and
carried her to the bed. Sitting her down,
he stepped back and quickly stripped his clothes off. Pushing her onto her back, he moved his body over hers. “I love you, Kathryn.”
“I love you, Chakotay.”
Spreading her legs, she welcomed his weight on top of her. “Oh, God, I’ve wanted to feel this for so
long.” She ran her fingers through his
hair and down over his shoulders and back to the smooth taut buttocks.
Her gown parted with a loud rip under his hands so he could
suck at her breasts. Another tearing
sound and her panties were no longer an obstacle. “Spirits, I want you so much.”
Pressing against her, he thrust inside her burying himself to the
hilt. Groaning with pleasure, he ground
himself against her. She was so hot and
so much tighter than he’d ever dreamed.
Kathryn cried out in pain.
He was a big man and as much as she wanted him, she wasn’t ready for him. Gritting her teeth, she pulled her knees up
and out to open herself to him as much as possible. Tears trickled down her cheeks as he lunged into her again and
again. My own fault for playing the
Virgin Captain.
Chakotay knew he was hurting her but couldn’t stop himself. After waiting so long to be with her there was no way to hold back. Gasping her name, he plunged into her one last time, emptying himself.
Holding his head to her breasts, she stroked the raven hair
and murmured soft love words to him.
For the first time, she wrapped her legs around him to lock his body to
hers.
“I’m sorry.” He gasped out.
“Don’t be. I loved it.”
“I hurt you.” Rising
up, he gazed down into her face. There
was no anger or condemnation in her eyes, only love. “I’ve dreamed so many times of making love to you. This wasn’t what I had planned.”
“It’s my fault. The
price of celibacy.” She kissed
him. “I wish I had given myself to you
on New Earth. I wanted to. You’re right, I was scared.” Amazing how
easily that confession slipped out now.
Kissing her gently, his tongue sliding sweetly along hers,
he slowly moved his weight off of her.
Rising from the bed, he went to the bathroom and returned with a wet
washcloth. Carefully, he washed his
seed from her. “Oh, Kathryn, I’m
sorry.” Her skin was pink; the delicate
lips were swollen and red. Even the
small sensitive nub was angry looking.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Nuzzling his face into the auburn curls, he kissed the abused feminine
center. Leaning over her, he pressed his mouth to hers again. “Let me bathe you. I’ve wanted to since I saw you in your towel. It’s the one time I was glad the monkey was
there."
“I can’t believe you still hate him. What’d he ever do to you?” She laughed.
“He kept interrupting us.
Every time I’d get close and think I might get a kiss – he’d be there
chattering. He was as bad as
Tuvok.” Helping her to her feet, he led
her to the bathroom. “And you know, I
have to wonder if Tuvok has the ability to scan for heightened hormonal
reactions – he’s always interrupted us at just the last possible moment.”
“I think it’s just Vulcan bad timing, but we’ll check into
it.”
Filling the bathtub with hot water and bubble bath, Chakotay
settled against the back of the tub with Kathryn laying against his chest. “This is so nice. Much nicer than when Q was in here with me.” She sighed.
“Q? Should I be
jealous?” He rubbed handfuls of bubbles
over her breasts.
“Of Q? Well, he is
an omnipotent being.” She teased.
“Wonder what the Continum thought when he came back smelling
like roses?”
“Oh, I’m sure they’re used to him winding up smelling like a
rose.” She laughed. “Considering what
he falls into most of the time.”
“Well, I hope after having an omnipotent being in your bath,
you’ll be happy to settle for a mere mortal man.”
“More than happy.”
Leaning her head back on his shoulder, she closed her eyes as his hands
moved over her body. When his fingers
rubbed at the small bundle of nerves between her legs, she moaned and arched
against him.
Sliding a finger inside of her, he whispered in her
ear. “Do you like that? Does it hurt?”
“No, oh no, it’s wonderful!” Lying back, she gave herself over to the lightning storm that ran
through her body as he rubbed the sensitive spot with one hand while he slid
two fingers of his other hand slowly in and out of her. Bucking against him, her inner walls clamped
down on his fingers as the lightning exploded with a fiery crash. “Chakotay, oh God, Chakotay…”
He cradled her to him, kissing her face and stroking her
thighs and belly as she shivered under the last of the tremors. “Lean up.” Chakotay guided her to the side of the
tub. Grabbing a towel off the shelf, he
folded it up to act as a cushion for her to lean on.
Laying her head down on her crossed arms, Kathryn knelt in
front of him. This wasn’t one of her
most favorite positions, but love was give and take. She already knew that Chakotay would give to her what she
needed. She wanted to give him what he
needed as well.
Kneeling behind her, he ran his hands over her bottom and
rubbed himself against her. One hand
went between her legs spreading her open for him and the other settled on her
hip. Gently, slowly, he slid inside of
her. “Tell me if I’m hurting you.”
“No, it feels good.”
The water lapped around her hips as he began moving carefully in and out
of her. “It feels so good…”
Nipping at the back of her neck, he whispered hoarsely in
her ear. “I like it this way, Kathryn,
it feels primitive.” He began thrusting
harder and deeper. His hands stroked
her breasts and belly. “Our ancestors mated this way. Man taking woman.”
So that’s what he liked. “Man dominating woman.” She whispered back to him.
“Yes!” Pumping
harder and faster, he gave up on kissing her neck and shoulders and arched back
as he pounded into her. Holding her
hips with both hands, he rode the wave of his climax higher and higher. He could hear her moaning, felt her pushing
back against him and to take him as deeply as she could.
Kathryn had changed her mind. This was a wonderful position!
Feeling completely female to his male, she discovered she understood
‘being taken’ for the first time. “Take
me now, Chakotay!” The pleasure was
overwhelming, sharp shards of electricity running through her with every hard
thrust. He was groaning in his native language, harsh strange words, grunting
as he crushed her against the side of the bathtub. Her orgasm rocked her to the core as it exploded within her with
the intensity of an antimatter explosion.
With a few hard, sharp lunges, Chakotay came inside her, her
name bursting from him. He collapsed
over her bracing his forearms on the rim of the bathtub on either side of
her. “Spirits, Kathryn, that was
wonderful…”
“Yes, oh yes it was!” she laughed. Being dominated was more fun than she’d realized.
Pulling her against him, Chakotay settled them back in the
hot water once again. “Are you laughing at me?”
“No, Chakotay. I’m
laughing at myself.”
“Care to share the joke?”
“I’ve always hated being on my hands and knees. Hated being fucked that way.” She laughed delightedly. When he was quiet,
she turned to look at him. He looked
hurt. “I’m laughing because I didn’t
know how good it could feel.”
His smile was back in an instant. “My grandfather told me the secret to making a woman happy was to
make her want to be dominated in the bed robes. If a man can’t give a woman her pleasure,
he’s not a man.”
“I think I like your grandfather’s philosophy.”
“It’s worked well for me.”
Chakotay said smugly.
“I’ll bet it has.”
She nestled back in his arms.
Later they lay in bed talking about the future. Plans for staying in the Delta quadrant were
easier than those for the Alpha quadrant.
Strangely enough, there were more unknown factors to be faced if they
made it home.
Chakotay was kissing and caressing her, touching her
constantly. Sucking at her breasts as
he teased her with his fingers. Kathryn
was surprised at his aggressiveness. He
was such a gentle man, she had no idea he was hiding such a passionate and
sensual nature.
He was nuzzling his way through the soft curls between her
legs when she realized someone had just entered her quarters. Again.
Does everyone have a code for my damn door? Chakotay rolled off of her, reaching for his
pants in the dim light. “Who’s there?”
Kathryn called out. She’d wrapped a
sheet around her and had her phaser out.
“Don’t shoot! It’s
only ‘you’!” Admiral Janeway appeared
in the doorway. She stopped and smiled
at Chakotay. “Well, fancy meeting you here.”
“Admiral.” He
grinned at her, a flush staining the high cheekbones. A little boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar.
“Please, Chakotay, I think all things considered we should
be on a first name basis.” She winked.
“Call me Kate.”
“Kate.” He tried the
name. Not as good as Kathryn, but it
suited her.
“‘Bout time that bed saw some action.”
“Did you need something?” Kathryn asked her. This was almost as bad as getting caught by
her mother, except her mother wouldn’t be looking at Chakotay quite so
lasciviously.
“I couldn’t sleep and I wanted to talk to you. How about I make us some coffee?” Turning, she headed back into the main room
without waiting for an answer.
After Kathryn pulled on her robe, she found Kate sitting on
the sofa under the viewport. “Are you
worried about tomorrow?”
“Not tomorrow so much as what comes after. I’m sure you’ve figured out I’m here to do
more than bring Voyager home.”
“I’ve suspected you had an agenda you weren’t telling me
about.”
“This may sound selfish – hell it is selfish! But I’m not here for Voyager.” She took a drink of her coffee savoring the
taste once again. “I’m here for Chakotay. For me and Chakotay and to hell with
everyone else.” She laughed at her
younger self’s expression. “I’ve spent
the last 26 years in hell – I decided I deserved a little happiness.”
Chakotay came out of the bedroom dressed in his uniform
pants and gray turtle neck shirt. He
gave Kate a kiss.
She held him in a fierce hug. “I love you, Chakotay.”
“I love you, too, Kate.”
He gave Kathryn a kiss as well before settling on the floor at her
feet. “I could get spoiled very quickly
by this. Two Kathryn Janeways – ouch!”
He rubbed his shoulder where Kathryn had smacked him.
“Well, I guess the trip wasn’t for nothing.” Kate trailed
her fingers over her lips. “He’s
magnificent, you'll never regret having him in your bed. I never did.”
“I didn’t think you and Chakotay were ever – “
“Intimate?” Kate laughed. “Where did you get that idea? We had our moments, but it wasn’t the way we
wanted. The way we deserved.” She sobered and sat for several minutes
looking into her coffee. “I didn’t tell
him about the holodeck program she created.
I didn’t know he’d started seeing Seven and when I found out, I lied and
told him I was happy for him. After all
we were only friends.” She
laughed bitterly. “You should have seen
the look on his face. Like I’d slapped him.
I guess that was the pivotal moment in my timeline. My chance to tell him I loved him. Well I didn’t.” She was quiet again. “He
walked out and l let him. And I lost
him.”
Kathryn put her hand on Chakotay’s shoulder. She’d nearly lost him again. “We’ve changed that.”
“Yes, you have, haven’t you? Screw the temporal prime directive! This didn’t happen in my timeline, so everything I tell you may
not happen – already hasn’t? God, I
hate temporal mechanics.”
“Now I know why Braxton hated me so much. Janeway must mean ‘she who screws with
time’.” Kathryn laughed.
“We’ve had more than our share of temporal events.” Chakotay
agreed, thinking of the recent incident where the ship had been fractured into
different times.
“Where to start?” Kate got up and paced to the
viewport. “Chakotay and Seven were
married for only a year when she died.”
“What?” He interrupted her. “Married? To Seven?”
“Yes. Married.” She assured him. “He was content – not blissfully happy – but content. And I was
happy for him even though it hurt me.
We were still friends, but there was no more flirting and teasing. We still had our dinners, but of course
Seven was there, too.”
Chakotay struggled with the picture of himself married to
Seven. Having dinner with Kathryn.
“Oh, occasionally we were alone, but we stuck to safe topics
and maintained a safe distance.” Kate
smiled. “The tension was still there,
you know.”
She paced restlessly along the viewports. “One night he came alone. He and Seven had fought. He was hurt and angry. Keyed in his override and scared me half to
death as I was getting out of the shower.”
My door might as well be wide open. Nobody actually waits
for me to open it. Kathryn nudged Chakotay with her foot.
“One of the reasons he had decided to marry Seven was that
she’d told him she wanted children.”
“Seven? Children?”
Kathryn couldn’t quite believe that.
“She has mentioned it.”
Chakotay told her.
“Miral had been born and a few other children as well. The crew was finally coming to realize it
might be their only chance for a family.
Chakotay desperately wanted children.”
She smiled sadly at him. “He
would have been a good father.”
“Wait. Seven can’t
have children. The Borg removed her
reproductive organs, it’s standard – oh God! She lied to him!” Chakotay’s shoulders were stiff under her
hands. “Why would she do such a thing?”
“When the Doctor made it possible for her to experience the
full range of emotions, Seven had trouble handling them at first. That night she had a date with
Chakotay. She fell in love with him.
Desperately, madly – just like in the holonovels. She was the blissfully happy one in their marriage.”
“So she fell in love with the first man she saw? That’s not even a good holoromance.” Kathryn
snorted.
“At least it wasn’t Tom or Tuvok.” Kate joked. “I believe it was their third or fourth date, so she
was already attracted to him. How could
she not be?” She ruffled Chakotay’s
hair as she paced past him.
Kathryn rubbed the back of his neck. “I wasn’t questioning
her taste in men, every woman on Voyager melts at the sight of those dimples.”
“I certainly did.”
Kate went back to the viewports and looked out at the stars. “They had
been trying to have a baby for some time – not telling anyone. Seven wanted it
kept a secret.”
“I’ll bet she did.” Kathryn muttered.
“Chakotay went to talk with the Doctor thinking that maybe something
was wrong with him. The Doctor told
him. He confronted Seven and she
confessed.”
“Then he came to you.” Chakotay guessed.
“Yes.” Kate crossed
her arms over her chest as if she could still feel him. “He was so hurt, so betrayed. I held him. I wanted to strangle her. Bash her head in with a rock!” She growled. She was shaking, still angry 23 years later. “He was crying. Crying! My dangerous Maquis
warrior – crying like his heart was broken.”
She laid her hands on the cold clear viewport. “And it was, I suppose.”
Kathryn felt tears stinging her eyes at the image Kate was
painting of Chakotay crying broken hearted in her arms. Chakotay pulled her from the sofa down onto
his lap.
Kate moved back to the sofa. “Then he fucked me. We didn’t have the pretty, sweet love scene
I always imagined. Oh no, he was rough
and angry. Angry at me, at
himself. Right here on this sofa. I accepted the pain as my penance.”
Kathryn and Chakotay exchanged a smile. It sounded very familiar.
“He was gentle after that first time. He was wonderful. We didn’t get a lot of sleep.”
Kate smiled at the memory. “The
next morning he said he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. We were in orbit around a class M planet and
were resupplying. God, we were always
resupplying. There were some ancient
ruins of some long dead civilization.”
She took a sip of her coffee and grimaced at the cold bitterness.
Kathryn crawled off Chakotay’s lap to get her a fresh
cup. He took the opportunity to move up
onto the sofa. Running a hand over the
cushions, he wondered if he was sitting where it had happened. Looking up, he caught Kate grinning at
him. She patted the other end.
Handing Kate her cup, Kathryn settled on Chakotay’s lap once
again.
Taking the fresh coffee, Kate took a drink before
continuing. “We were exploring the
ruins, just the two of us, trying to figure out if anything from our lives was
salvageable, when Seven beamed down and confronted us. She was angry at us! Can you believe it? Borg nerve.
‘My guilt is irrelevant’, she said to me, ‘he’s my husband’.” Kate waved
her hands in the air. “Like her lying
wasn’t relevant? We were in the middle
of an ugly argument when the earthquake hit.
Seven and I were trapped under some rubble. Chakotay had a broken arm, but was able to crawl outside. He called for help, but no one from the
campsite answered. Voyager was mining
dilithium on one of the outer moons. It
would be 15 minutes before they could get to us.”
She was pacing again, brushing Chakotay’s shoulders with her
fingertips every time she passed.
“Aftershocks were bringing more of the building down around us. Chakotay
pulled me out and carried me outside.
He started back just as another one hit. Seven was crushed under more debris. Voyager beamed us up. The
Doctor did what he could – but – “She shook her head. “Seven forgave him. Told
him it was ‘logical’ to save me first. ‘The Captain is more important’. Isn’t that sweet?” Kate snarled. “Borg
bitch! She knew exactly what she was
doing!” She slapped her hands against
the viewport. “The guilt ate at
Chakotay. Destroyed him. He believed it was his fault that she died.”
“But it wasn’t his fault.” Kathryn was shocked by Kate’s
obvious hatred of Seven.
“Wasn’t it?”
“What are you saying?” Chakotay felt his heart stop. Had he murdered Seven?
“I had a fractured skull.
Both my legs were broken, my ribs, and I had a punctured lung. The pain was… terrible. Chakotay stayed with me trying to comfort
me. I thought he’d already gotten Seven
out. When I asked if she was okay, he
looked surprised.”
“How could he forget she was still trapped?” Kathryn asked.
“He was afraid I was dying.
He was afraid to leave me.”
“He still loved you.”
Chakotay caught her hand as she passed.
“Yes.” Leaning down,
she kissed him softly. “No one ever
knew what had really happened down there.
Her injuries could have been that severe before the aftershocks – mine
certainly were. Maybe – who knows?”
Pulling her hand out of his grasp, Kate moved across the room
to the shelves by the door. She laid a
picture of herself and Seven face down.
“It was almost a year after Seven’s death before he came to my bed
again. We’d fallen back into our same
comfortable pattern as before. Friendly
dinners and shore leave together – nothing sexual. Teasing and flirting, the occasional kiss. Then one night he kissed me and didn’t
stop.”
Leaning against the bulkhead by the door, she patted it
affectionately and closed her eyes for a moment. “He was gone in the morning.
Never said a word about it.
That’s how we spent the last 12 years in the Delta quadrant. Friends and occasionally lovers. A week or a month might go by before we made
love. We never talked about the
future. Everything was for the here and
now. He never mentioned wanting
children again.” Kate splayed her hands
across her stomach. “I’d been exposed
to radiation from an alien weapon and couldn’t give him children, even if he’d
asked.”
Kathryn mirrored her action, her hands going to her
stomach. Chakotay’s hands covered hers.
“When we finally returned to Earth, he left.” Kate shook her head. “He spent every night with me throughout the
debriefings and ceremonies. Moved in
with me – shocked the hell out of the Starfleet brass! Three weeks.” She closed her eyes smiling at the memories. “He was constantly touching and kissing –
sneaking us off to anyplace we could be alone.
He was gentle and tender. I
thought we had a future after all.
Three weeks until the debriefings were finally over. The next day he was gone.”
“Gone?” Kathryn felt Chakotay’s heart pounding against her
back.
“Officially, it was a transporter malfunction. Just ‘we’re so sorry. These things
happen.’ There wasn’t even a body for
me to bury.”
Kathryn cried out softly.
“And unofficially?” Chakotay held Kathryn to him.
“Unofficially? I
found a note in his medicine bundle.
Handwritten. ‘The reports of my demise have been greatly
exaggerated’.” She rolled her
eyes. “He was always a little too
melodramatic.”
“He wasn’t dead?”
Kathryn was wiping tears off her face.
“No. But he would have been if he’d been handy. He was working for Starfleet
Intelligence. I didn’t see him until
Voyager’s first reunion party. Every
year, he showed up and spent the two nights before the reunion with me – then
disappeared again. It was his way of
marking the anniversary.” She sat down
on the end of the sofa. “It’s been six
months.” She said softly.
“Since the last reunion?” Kathryn asked.
There was a long silence.
“Since they sent his body home to me.
What was left anyway.”
“W – what?” Kathryn
clutched Chakotay’s arms tighter around her.
“Wake up and smell the coffee, Kathryn!” Kate’s voice was
harsh and bitter. “Didn’t you think
that if he was alive he’d be here with me?”
“How?” She’d tried
not to think about why the Admiral was alone.
“Bat'leth. Now at least there’s a body under the headstone
in the family plot. You don’t mind do
you, Chakotay? Lying with the Janeways
for eternity?” She smiled
sardonically. “Sorry, doesn’t look like
I’ll be joining you after all.”
“You’re being cruel, Kate.” Kathryn was shaking against him,
her face buried in his neck and her hands clutching at his shoulders.
“I’m sorry.” Kate had the grace to look embarrassed. “It’s easier to deal with it this way.” She reached out to stroke Kathryn’s hair.
Something she’d said to him earlier clicked into place. “You told me your hair turned gray about six
months ago.”
“I guess it was your fault after all, Chakotay." Kate
gave him a small crooked smile. “He’d
been working for Starfleet, but they wouldn’t say doing what. I did some digging and found out he’d joined
Section 31.”
“Section 31? I
thought that was just a rumor – a myth!”
“Oh, they’re very real.
Chakotay sent me a message recorded the day before he died. He told me about the temporal device the
Klingons had developed and that he’d already had my shuttle outfitted with the
Borg shielding and transphasic torpedoes.
He wanted me to finish what he started.
And here I am.”
“He wanted you to save Seven?” Chakotay was skeptical given what she’d told them.
Kate laughed. “More or less. Let’s just say she’s one of the people we’re saving. Whether of not Voyager gets home, things
have changed and that’s what we wanted.”
“You told him about Seven’s program, didn’t you?” Kathryn
asked.
“That was one mistake I knew I had to correct. Looks like
you took care of the other one.” She
smiled at the two of them wrapped in each other’s arms. “If Voyager doesn’t get home – stay away
from the Nflaa and their territory. We
bullied our way across their space instead of going around. We saved six months and I lost the chance to
have children. You know we want
children – Chakotay deserves this chance to be a father.”
“A starship isn’t – “
“Don’t give me that crap, Kathryn! We had plenty of children aboard by the time we got home. “ Kate
waved away her protests. “Hell, Naomi
really was my assistant by then. Time
keeps moving – life has to go on."
“You wanted to see me, Captain?”
Kathryn smiled at Chakotay standing stiffly at
attention. The glint in his eyes belied
the military pose. She walked around
her desk to inspect him. “Hmm… you’ll
do, Commander.” Sliding her arms around
his neck, she pulled his head down. “At ease before you strain something.”
His arms wrapped around her and held her tightly as their
lips and tongues met. “I love you,
Kathryn.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
Her hands moved over his back down to his buttocks, pulling him closer.
“Whatever you say, Captain.” Pushing her back against the desk, his hips ground into
hers. Sucking her tongue into his
mouth, he swirled his own around and over before plunging into her mouth. Gasping for air, he nuzzled her throat. “I’ve fantasized about making love to you on
your desk.”
“Commander, really, the desk?” Nipping at the soft skin below his ear, she laughed huskily.
“I’ve always imagined us on the sofa.”
Her tongue darted into his ear making him squirm against her. “Or on Tom’s console.”
“Oh, Spirits, yes, let’s do that…” His mouth came back to
capture hers again. Her breasts were
soft in his hands, nipples hard through the Starfleet jacket.
“Tuvok to Captain Janeway.”
“I swear he’s got some kind of telepathy!”
“He is a Vulcan.”
She cradled his head on her shoulder.
“Janeway here.”
“We’re ready, Captain. The Admiral’s shuttle is away.”
“I’ll be right there.
Janeway out.” Pushing Chakotay
back, she straightened her jacket and smoothed her hair down. “Ready?”
“Yes, but we better get to the bridge.”
“I’ll deal with you later.”
She gave him one last quick kiss.
“I’m counting on it.”
He followed her onto the bridge trying not to look at her tight
ass. Settling into his chair, he
shifted to lean over their shared console pretending to study the information
displayed there. He let his eyes run
over her body. They’d made love one
last time before they left her quarters.
Her cheeks still had a rosy blush and her lips were slightly swollen
from his kisses. Good thing Tom was in
Sickbay. With his keen eyes, he’d know
something had happened.
“See anything interesting?”
“A lot of things, Captain.
Nothing I can put my… finger on right now.”
“Hmm…” Kathryn squirmed in her seat. She remembered only too well what he could
do with his fingers. “Maybe later we
can… get more… in depth on the subject.”
“I’m looking forward to it.” He shifted in his seat.
It was becoming very uncomfortable sitting next to her. Getting to his feet, he checked the course
laid in at the helm before moving to look over Tuvok’s shoulder at the readings
for the shield modifications.
Tuvok’s brows rose as the delicate scent of roses drifted
from Chakotay to the sensitive Vulcan nose.
“Commander, have you been in the hydroponics bay recently?”
“No, not recently.
Why?”
“I believe I smell roses.”
“Ah, that would be my new aftershave.” Chakotay said with a straight face that
matched Tuvok’s. “What do you think?”
“I think perhaps a more masculine scent would be more
appropriate. Something that smells less
like the Captain’s perfume.”
“I’ll take that under advisement.” Following Tom as the helmsman came out of the turbolift, Chakotay
took his seat again.
As they proceeded to the nebula, Kathryn rose to stand
behind Tom. “Take us in.”
“Aye, Captain.”
“The Admiral has succeeded, Captain. Conduit shielding is destabilizing.” Seven reported from her station.
“Now, Mr. Tuvok.”
At the Captain’s order, Tuvok fired the transphasic
torpedoes and the conduits began to explode.
A single Borg sphere moved in behind Voyager.
Kathryn sat down in her command chair once again, trying to
look calmer than she felt.
“Sphere firing. Aft
armor down to 6%.” Tuvok reported
calmly.
Chakotay moved from his command chair to study the readouts
over Tuvok’s shoulder.
“Hull breaches on decks 6 through 12.” Harry reported trying to ignore the
exploding consoles showering sparks over him.
“I can’t stay ahead of them, Captain.” Tom shook his head as
the sphere clung stubbornly to their tail.
“The armor is failing.”
Tuvok’s voice rose over the crackle of exploding circuits.
Chakotay moved to the station Seven was manning. “Where’s the nearest aperture?”
“Approximately 30 seconds ahead.” Seven eyed him fearfully
as he stopped beside her. “But it leads
back to the Delta quadrant.”
Silence gripped the bridge.
Kathryn turned to look up at Chakotay.
They stared at each other for a moment before she nodded slightly and
turned back to Tom. “Mr. Paris, prepare to adjust your heading.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He
suppressed a shiver at the thought of purposely letting a Borg ship swallow
them up.
The bridge was silent again, everyone staring at the main
screen as it showed the inside of the Borg sphere. Chakotay leaned close to Seven and said very quietly so only she
could hear. “I’m sorry for the way I behaved yesterday.” Seven shifted nervously. “I was very angry, but that’s no excuse for
my behavior. Please, Seven, forgive me
for the way I treated you.”
“I – I accept your apology, Commander.” She shifted away
from him.
“Mr. Paris, what’s our position?” Kathryn stood up, too anxious to sit any longer.
“Right were we expected to be.”
“The transwarp network has been obliterated.” Seven looked up from her console.
“We’ll celebrate later.” The Captain turned to Tuvok. “Mr.
Tuvok.”
Tuvok fired the transphasic torpedo and the Borg Sphere
exploded around them. The inertial
dampeners strained to keep Voyager on an even keel as they rode the shockwave
into the Alpha Quadrant. Debris bounced
off their enhanced shields.
“We did it.” She shook at the sight of the starships
clustered before them.
Seven turned to look at Chakotay, wishing he would move
away. Part of her still cared for him but his emotions frightened her.
Sensing her attention, he turned to look at her before
turning back to look Kathryn. She
seemed rattled by their sudden return home.
Everyone did. He’d always
imagined cheers and crying. Instead
there was a stunned silence. There’d
been too many false hopes. Would they
have the rug pulled out from under them once again?
Harry brought him out of his reverie.” We’re being hailed.”
“On screen.” Kathryn
straightened her spine as Admiral Paris appeared on the main screen. “Sorry to surprise you. Next time, we’ll call ahead.”
“Welcome back!”
“It’s good to be here.”
“How did you – “
“It’ll all be in my report, sir.”
Admiral Paris paused a beat as she cut him off. “I look
forward to reading it.” He glanced around the bridge as if looking for someone.
Tom ducked his head, looking at the readings on his console
through blurred eyes.
The screen returned to the image of the gathered starships.
“Thank you for your help, Admiral Janeway.”
She whispered.
“Sickbay to the Bridge.”
Behind the Doctor’s voice they could hear a baby cooing. “Doctor to Lieutenant Paris, there’s someone
here who’d like to say hello.”
“You’d better get down there, Tom.”
“Yes, ma’am!” He
smiled at her before bolting for the turbolift.
Turning, Kathryn saw that Chakotay was still standing by
Seven. He seemed unaware that Seven was
looking at him with a lovesick expression on her face. She’d heard the whispered apology he’d made
to Seven. What did he have to
apologize for? She would have to
ask him later. “Mr. Chakotay, the
helm.” Not that she was jealous –
far from it. However, there were plenty
of places he could be other than next to Seven. Why wasn’t she in astrometrics, anyway?
Chakotay smiled at her as he took the helm. “Aye, Captain.”
Seven watched him go before she realized the Captain was
watching her. She glanced quickly down
at her console.
Settling herself in her command chair, Kathryn gave the
order. “Set a course. For home.”
“Captain, Admiral Paris is hailing us.”
“Put him on screen, Mr. Kim.” The front view screen changed from its view of Earth to show
Admiral Paris once again. “Admiral.”
“Captain Janeway.
We’d like you to take Voyager to Earth’s Spacedock for now. We’ll debrief the crew, including the Maquis
and Equinox crews, and bring everyone’s families up. That way you can have some privacy. I’m sure it’ll be a circus once you get to Earth.”
“I appreciate that, Admiral.” She moved up behind Chakotay and put a hand on his shoulder.
“There’s even some crazy idea floating around to land
Voyager at Starfleet Headquarters.” He
chuckled. “Starships belong in space.”
“Normally, I’d agree with you, Admiral. However, I think Voyager deserves to feel
Earth under her feet as much as the rest of the crew. She’s earned it.”
He laughed. “After
70,000 light years – I believe you’re right.
We’ll see you in Spacedock, Captain.
Paris out.” He vanished from the
screen.
“Lieutenant Morgan, take the helm. Tuvok you have the bridge.”
She headed for her ready room. “Commander, you’re with me. We need to discuss the status of our former
Maquis and Equinox crew.”
Chakotay followed her into the ready room. “I thought we’d already decided – “ her
mouth on his cut off the rest of his question.
Her tongue was seeking its way past his lips. Eagerly, he opened his mouth to her while he tangled his fingers
into her hair.
Their tongues played with each other until Kathryn finally
broke away for air. “See why we had to wait?
We’d never have gotten anything done.” She rubbed against him and gave
him another quick kiss. “We’d be
sneaking off to smooch all the time.”
“There are worse ways to pass the time.” He smiled. “I think we’d have calmed down
after awhile.”
“God, I hope not!”
She pulled him to her again. “I
love your shoulders. You don’t know how
many times I wanted to run my hands over your shoulders and down your back.”
“About as often as I wanted to put my hands in your hair and
pull it out of that damned bun you used to wear.”
They were gasping and panting against each other, her hands
in the black hair holding his face still while her tongue traced the lines of
his tattoo where it disappeared into his sideburn. He had her pinned against the desk again; his hands were holding
her hips as he thrust himself against her.
The door chime caused them to bolt apart. Jesus!
That’s all I need is for Tuvok to catch me dry humping my first officer! “Come in.” she gasped out.
The doors opened and Naomi came into the room. She held a small wooden box in her
hands. “The Admiral ordered me to give
this to you and the Commander after we made it through.” She handed the box to Kathryn. “She said I was the best assistant she’s
ever had.”
“You are, Naomi.”
Handing the box to Chakotay, she hugged the little girl. “I’m very proud of you.”
“Thank you, Captain.”
She pulled herself to attention. “Permission to leave?”
“Dismissed.”
Smiling, she watched her leave.
Chakotay was staring at the box and running his fingers over
the design on the lid. “My father made
this for me. He gave it to me before I
went to the Academy.” Swallowing hard,
he traced the design cut into the wood.
“I put it away years ago. He
gave it to me to remind me of my heritage and I – I – “
“Chakotay, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. Children rebel against their parents. Remember that when our children are old
enough to rebel against us.”
“Our children?” He
blinked back the tears that suddenly burned his eyes. “Will we have children, Kathryn?”
“I hope so.” She
lifted the lid, curious about what might be inside. Taking out a PADD, she set it aside. The dried rose she recognized as the one he’d given her after her
near death experience with the alien pretending to be her father. There were other small items including a
gold earring. “What could one earring
mean?”
Chakotay wondered if it was the same gold earring currently
hidden in the small bag within his medicine bundle or it’s mate. Picking up the small golden bars from the
box, he smiled. He knew these
were in his medicine bundle.
“What are those?”
“Captain Miller’s captain’s bars. And that earring is Katrine’s.”
Her eyes went wide. “I woke up
naked in your arms, Kathryn.
Unfortunately, I don’t remember how I got there.”
“Why didn’t you –“ She’d cherished that one night of passion
with Chakotay. Relived every moment of
it time and again. “You never said a word.”
“You seemed so frightened when the Doctor walked in on
us. I thought it was best to pretend it
never happened. But – “ He
grinned. “These I kept as a talisman to
hopefully pull you to me.”
“I lost one of my earrings, couldn’t find it. I put the other one in my jewel box.” Now she recognized the small gold
earring. “Every so often, I’d tell
myself to throw it away, but I never did.”
They spent some time going through the pictures and
mementoes. Some were familiar, some
not. Finally, they closed the box and
set it aside. Flicking on the PADD,
they weren’t surprised to see Admiral Janeway.
“I don’t know if this will still be here for you to see later or
not. I’m still here, for now, even
though things have changed from the way they were in my timeline. Temporal mechanics always did give me a
headache. I wanted you to see this to
know the real reason I’m here. Please
don’t screw it up this time.” She
arched an eyebrow. “Don’t make me come
back and try again.”
There was a brief second of blankness before a new image
appeared with a stardate 26 years in the future. Chakotay appeared on the small
screen. Older and harsher, he looked
much like Admiral Janeway had, bitterness lined his face and gray streaked his
hair.
“Kathryn, if you’re seeing this, then I guess I’ll be
missing this year’s reunion. The
Klingons have developed a temporal device, and it works, Kathryn, it
works! I’ve been working for Section 31
to steal it for the Federation.” His laugh
was dry and bitter. “At least that’s
what they think.
I want to fix things, Kathryn. Make it right. I had your
shuttle outfitted with new shields – the Borg can’t penetrate them. You should thank the Romulans for those, but
I don’t think they’d be happy to find out we’ve stolen the technology from
them. The computer has the
specifications for the transphasic torpedoes we picked up from the
Slymarians. B’Elanna shouldn’t have any
trouble putting some together for Voyager.”
He paused for a moment.
“I think my cover has been compromised.
You have to do this if I fail.
Korath has the device and he’s willing to trade – but don’t trust
him. Not for a second. Promise him whatever he wants – just get
close enough to steal it if you have to.
Don’t trust him to actually trade it.
He has no honor.
Remember the nebula with the wormhole during our seventh
year? The one crawling with Borg. That’s the way home, Kathryn. A transwarp hub is in there. With these shields Voyager can get
through. Reg is nailing down the
coordinates. No surprise he wants to
help fix things. He’s a romantic at
heart. You’d better not tell ‘Captain
Janeway’ about the hub, she’d want to destroy the damn thing instead of coming
home. “ The corner of his mouth crooked
up slightly. “You know how stubborn you
can be.
If I could, I’d go back to New Earth and change it all from
there. One of those nights that I
watched you sleep – I’d go ahead and crawl into bed with you.” He sighed.
“But I don’t know what other damage might come of that.”
He was silent for several moments. “Forgive me for not being with you all these years – Believe me,
I ached to be at your side. But when
Section 31 offered – I knew it was the only chance I’d have to fix things.
I never told you, Kathryn, but I knew Seven was trapped
inside. I wasn’t going to go back in
for her. When you asked about her, I
realized what I was doing, but it was too late. Maybe she would have died anyway, I don’t know. I know she forgave me. Just as she did whenever I called out your
name when I was in her bed. I murdered
her, Kathryn, as surely as if I’d pulled the building down on her myself. That’s what I can’t live with. Her blood is on my soul. I never really loved her – not the way I
love you.
Get us home, Kathryn.
Get us home so we can be together the way we should be.” The slight smile appeared at the corner of
his mouth again. “And if you can’t get
Voyager home, please – for spirits sake – make yourself throw the rulebook out
an airlock.” A full smile this time
caused his dimples to flash and the years to fall away. “Or maybe tell me to pounce on you
and get it over with. Screw the
Temporal Prime Directive and Starfleet protocol – we deserve to be happy!”
He turned serious once again, glancing over his shoulder at
something before turning back. “You have
to go, Kathryn! You can bring Voyager
home… save Seven… and us.” He leaned
forward, his voice suddenly fierce.
“Save us, Kathryn!” He
touched his fingers to the screen and murmured something quietly. The screen went black.
“No wonder she was so determined.” Chakotay was stunned at the vision of himself ordering her to
come back for them.
Kathryn was leaning against his back and her tears were damp
on the back of his neck. “Wh – what did
he say at the end? I didn’t hear.”
Turning, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her
tightly. “It was in his – my people’s
language. ‘I’ll be waiting for you in
the afterlife, beloved wife’.”
“Wife?”
“Not on paper, no, but in the heart and spirit.” He slid his hands into her hair and cradled
her head, tipping her face up to him.
“We’ve been given a second chance.
Please say you’ll marry me. I’ll
follow you back into space if you want.
Wherever you go, I’ll go.”
“Chakotay, I love you.”
She kissed him softly. “I think
I’m done with space. I’d like to feel
the ground under my feet for a while.
We’ve collected enough data to keep the scientist in me busy for years.”
“True.” He laughed
remembering how many times she’d told him she was a scientist who took a wrong
turn into command.
“Yes, Chakotay.”
“Yes?” He looked at
her in confusion. Was there a question
in there? “Oh. Yes?”
“Yes.” Tears were
pooling in her eyes again from happiness this time. She lifted her lips to his for a kiss.
Picking her up, he whirled her around, an ecstatic whoop
coming from him. “I love you, Kathryn
Janeway!”
“Put me down you big oaf!
You’re making me dizzy.” She
laughed delightedly. “You’re acting
like a wild Indian!”
He stopped and let her slide down his body until their lips
touched. “I am a wild Indian,
remember? First thing you need to learn
is this.” He whispered softly in her
ear. The words were slightly harsh yet
gentle and soft. “That means I love
you.”
She repeated the words back, cringing as she heard the
slightly garbled translation coming from the communicator. “I think I’ll need practice.”
“I’ll give you 30 years – but that’s as far as I’ll
go.” Pulling her tight against him, he
kissed her, letting her feel the love and passion he’d kept bottled up for the
past 7 years.
“Tuvok to Captain Janeway.”
“I swear, I’m going to kill him.” Chakotay rested his
forehead against hers. “Slowly and
painfully. Some of my ancestors could
have given the Hirogen lessons in torture – “
“Shh! Janeway
here.” Kathryn turned around so the
comlink wouldn’t pick up Chakotay’s heavy breathing. That only encouraged him to rub himself against her backside.
“Captain, we’re approaching Spacedock.”
The feel of Chakotay’s erection grinding against her made it
difficult for her to focus. “Is
Lieutenant Paris still in Sickbay?”
“Yes, Captain.”
“Tuvok, all stop.
Janeway out.” She felt Voyager
slow and stop. “Janeway to Paris.”
“Paris here, Captain.” In the background they could hear the baby crying angrily.
“Get your butt up here, Mr. Paris, unless you want Chakotay
to bring Voyager into Spacedock.”
“Chakotay is flying Voyager?” B'Elanna’s voice was clear over the comlink. “Go Tom!”
“On my way, Captain! Paris out.”
Kathryn turned to see Chakotay standing with his hands on
his hips. “I’d like to know when I got
this reputation as a bad pilot? I out
maneuvered many a Starfleet and Cardassian ship in the Maquis.”
“Your track record since then hasn’t been so good.” She teased.
“What is it now? Three
shuttles.”
“I can’t be held responsible for plasma storms and invisible
force fields!”
“Calm down, Chakotay.”
She soothed, patting his shoulder.
“I just thought Tom deserves to bring her in. He’s earned it.”
Chakotay smiled remembering the Tom Paris he knew in the
Maquis compared to the Tom Paris he knew now. “Yes, he has.”
They came out of her ready room just as the turbolift opened
and Tom bounded out onto the bridge.
“Report, Mr. Paris.” Kathryn ordered as soon as he took his seat at the
helm.
“Miral Taya Kathryn.
8 pounds and 2 ounces, ten fingers, ten toes, her mother’s forehead and
temper.” His fingers danced across the controls bringing Voyager back to life.
“And her father’s heart.”
“Taya?”
“Kathryn?”
“Yeah, sorry to put you last, Captain, but Miral Kathryn
Taya didn’t have quite the same ring to it.”
He grinned at the surprised pair. “Congratulations, Commander, you won
the baby pool.”
“Great, now that we don’t need to ration replicator use.”
“Come on, Chief, it’s the winning that counts.” Tom smiled
to himself. He could say that now that
he didn’t have to worry about eating leola root for a month to pay out.
“Spacedock to Voyager.
Welcome home.” The voice was
warm and pleasant. “Please cut engines and standby to be tractored in.”
“Oh, I don’t think so.”
Tom guided Voyager toward the opening bay doors.
Kathryn gripped the arms of her command chair.
“Voyager, this is Spacedock. Please come to all stop.”
The voice was a little less warm and pleasant.
“Please, I’ve flown 70,000 light years to let the valet do
the parking?” Shaking his head, Tom
reversed the engines as they approached the doors. “I don’t think so. Thanks
anyway.”
“Maybe you should have let me fly her in, after all.”
Chakotay whispered to her.
The back wall was coming up fast. Red lights flashed everywhere.
Had they come so far only to die crashing into Spacedock? Kathryn gripped Chakotay’s hand tightly.
“Captain, Commander, have faith.” Tom threw them an evil
grin over his shoulder. He tapped a
control on his console and Voyager bumped gently into her berth. “We’re home.”
Kathryn and Chakotay changed Admiral Janeway’s past, so shouldn’t something happen? Fate's Pawn
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