Dodging St. Pat

By Maquis Leader

 

 

 

Rated PG

 

 

 

From: Captain Janeway

To: Commander Chakotay

Subject: Leprechauns and green leola root

 

 

After the debacle that was Valentine’s Day, I think it’s best to head Neelix off at the pass with St. Patrick’s Day.

 

Unless you *like* eating green food?

 


 

From: Commander Chakotay

To: Captain Janeway

Subject: Pagan Celebrations

 

 

Green beer would be fine, but I’m still having nightmares about Neelix in his Cupid costume. Is it possible to delete the 17th from the calendar?

 

And why do your people insist on having a cute mascot for every holiday anyway?

 


 

From: Captain Janeway

To: Commander Chakotay

Subject: Bigot!

 

 

Time travel isn’t an option, already considered it. No sun close enough to slingshot around. Cupid did a good job, even if there was entirely too much orange skin exposed. *shudder*

 

And what do you mean “your people”? Mr. I’ve-got-an-animal-spirit-guide?

 


 

From: Commander Chakotay

To: Captain Janeway

Subject: Mea culpa…

 

 

“Cupid” was *very* good at his job. *grin*. However, I hear he’s planning to put on a green suit and sing When Irish Eyes Are Smiling over the comm.

 

Forgive my hasty comment and check your replicator for a fresh cup of coffee.

 


 

From: Captain Janeway

To: Commander Chakotay

Subject: All is forgiven… this time

 

 

Is there any way B'Elanna can shut down the comm system? Or possibly lock Neelix in his quarters? Or both? For an extended period?

 

The coffee was good, btw. But bribery? Really, Chakotay! Do I seem that cheap to you?

 


 

From: Commander Chakotay

To: Captain Janeway

Subject: A price above pearls

 

 

She could, but word is out that there is going to be a party and Paris – soon to be dead helmsman – is programming an Irish pub for the occasion. My suggestion is a last minute away mission.

 

And never would I assume you were cheap! Such is your worth that I could never hope to capture even a moment of your time.

 


 

From: Captain Janeway

To: Commander Chakotay

Subject: Important mission!

 

 

After meticulously checking the ship's logs, I see we have not taken the captain’s yacht for the required test flight. Starfleet reg 47-23-B subsection 2A. The ship must be inspected and brought up to specs immediately. Report to the yacht at 0800 hours.

 

Don’t be too hasty… I may not be cheap, but I *can* be had…

 


 

From: Commander Chakotay

To: Lieutenant Tuvok

Subject: Temporary command

 

 

As per Starfleet regulation 47-23-B subsection 2A, the Captain and myself will not be on board.  Accordingly, you will be in command until such time as the mission is finished.

 


 

From: Lieutenant Tuvok

To: Commander Chakotay

Subject: Conspicuous absence

 

 

I am unaware of such a regulation. I *am* aware of Mr. Neelix’s plans for a St. Patrick’s Day party.

 


 

From: Commander Chakotay

To: Captain Janeway

Subject: Mr. Know-it-all

 

 

Tuvok tells me there is no such reg. Seriously? Here I thought we had a rule for everything.

 

I’m aware you “can be had” but thought it crude to mention it.

 


 

From: Captain Janeway

To: Commander Chakotay

Subject: No worries

 

 

Actually, I had to make it up. Couldn’t find anything to help us out. But there really should be such a regulation, don’t you think? Let’s hope the thing starts.

 

And we’ll talk about your being crude at a more convenient time.

 


 

From: Commander Chakotay

To: Lieutenant Tuvok

Subject: Mere coincidence

 

 

The Captain assures me such a regulation does indeed exist. And as you know, Captain Janeway is a stickler for protocol. I expect you to maintain the usual high level of security and discipline during our absence.

 

You might start with locking Lieutenant Paris in the brig *before* the party.

 


 

From: Commander Chakotay

To: Captain Janeway

Subject: Red alert!

 

 

The Vulcan is on to us! He’s up there now, scrolling through the regs!

 


 

From: Captain Janeway

To: Lieutenant Tuvok

Subject: Security issues

 

 

Lieutenant, as you know, some regulations are command level only. I assure you such a regulation does indeed exist.

 

You’re not saying I’m lying are you?

 


 

From: Lieutenant Tuvok

To: Captain Janeway

Subject: Subterfuge

 

 

I was merely stating the facts as to my knowledge concerning said regulation as it relates to the timing of Mr. Neelix’s plans. Including the new information that he intends to hide a “pot of latinum” somewhere on the ship.

 

Add to those facts the report that Commander Chakotay was seen carrying a bottle of champagne into the yacht, and certain conclusions are inevitable.

 


 

From: Captain Janeway

To: Lieutenant Tuvok

Subject: Traditions

 

 

It’s a human tradition to toast the launch of a new ship.

 

And tell Neelix that’s a pot of gold and not latinum.

 


 

From: Captain Janeway

To: Commander Chakotay

Subject: Maquis stealth???

 

 

Just how many people saw you with the champagne?

 

And are you planning on getting me drunk and taking advantage of me?

 


 

From: Commander Chakotay

To: Captain Janeway

Subject: Mission itinerary

 

 

I told you he was on to us. *Now* he decides to get more security minded!

 

Getting you drunk was not on the agenda, but I can add it if you like.

 


 

From: Captain Janeway

To: Commander Chakotay

Subject: Irish blood

 

 

Relax, he’s fuming but he can’t do anything. One of the nice perks of being a Captain is making people do what you want.

 

As for getting me drunk, you can try, buster. But you’ll need something stronger than that French grape juice.

 


 

From: Commander Chakotay

To: Captain Janeway

Subject: Firewater bad

 

 

I have noticed that you do enjoy the perks of being a Captain.

 

I’d be more than happy to bring a bottle of fine Irish whiskey and attempt to get you drunk. Unfortunately, I don’t have a bottle. I *do* have a low tolerance for alcohol, so anything besides the “French grape juice” will have *me* under the table.

 

Unless you’d like to take advantage of me?

 

 

 

 

 

Kathryn chuckled as Chakotay poured her a glass of champagne. “Sticking to the weak stuff?”

 

“Unless you want to carry me off the ship when we get back?”

 

“No, thank you.” She shook her head. “You’re much too heavy.”

 

“And somebody might notice.” He touched his glass to hers.

 

“Are you kidding me? Look.” Gesturing out the view port, she laughed. Voyager’s running lights had all been changed to green, giving the ship a decidedly Irish tint. “Odds are that a good portion of the crew is half way into their next hangover.”

 

“True.”

 

“We’ll just stay out here until it’s all over.”

 

“Excellent decision, Captain.” Chakotay raised his glass in salute.

 

“Why thank you, sir. Oh, meant to tell you – “ She took a sip of her wine. “You were a little off with your quote. It’s ‘a price above rubies’ if I’m not mistaken.”

 

“But rubies don’t remind me of your skin.” Mischief glimmered in the black velvet eyes as he pulled the sheet down to expose her bare skin. “Such creamy, pale perfection.”

 

“Well, when you put it that way…” Kathryn sucked in her breath as Chakotay kissed the sensitive spot behind her ear.






 

 

 

From: Captain Janeway

To: Lieutenant Tuvok

Subject: More tests required

 

 

The mission is requiring more extensive testing than first anticipated. You will remain in command until further notice.

 

And don’t respond, the com system has to be shut down during the tests.

 

 

 

Here's to the Irish rose!

Back to Chakotay's bedroom for another romantic story


maquisleader@maquisleader.net