Get Your Vines Off!


By Maquis Leader




Rating R

Author’s note: Immediately after Survival Instinct. Thanks to Ralkana for a title when my muse said “excuse me? I don’t do titles!”



“The Doctor’s making her as comfortable as possible.” Chakotay sat on the sofa under the view port. “I gave her one of the empty VIP quarters.”


“She was a Starfleet officer; I’m glad she can be on board a Starfleet ship before she dies. Makes me almost glad we’re in the Delta Quadrant.” Kathryn sighed.


“Almost?” He teased.


“Almost!” Tossing the PADD she had been reading on the desk, she looked around at her ready room. It still looked like Christmas morning. Except every present looked like the one your eccentric great aunt gave you. “Wonder if we can give these away to the next bunch of aliens we meet?”


“If we’re lucky.” Yawning, Chakotay put his feet up on the table and leaned his head back. There had been entirely too much activity in the last few days and not enough time to sleep.


“Comfortable, Commander?”


“Very.” He yawned again.


“Would you like a blanket?” She added facetiously. “Or a pillow?”


“That would be nice.”


Shaking her head, Kathryn went back to her reports. Poor baby. He’d been working too hard lately. Chakotay had helped out with the influx of visitors from the Markonian outpost, handled the discipline problems that occurred at any shore leave, the complaints from the crew over nosy aliens and missing items, and his duties as First Officer all at the same time. A soft snore made her smile. How many balls can you keep in the air at one time, Chakotay?


She was deep into B'Elanna’s report on increasing the energy consumption efficiency when she heard a rustling sound. Was Chakotay a restless sleeper? He hadn’t been on New Earth. Many nights she’d lain awake listening to his steady breathing. It had been comforting and reassuring.


Stop that train of thought right now, Kathryn Janeway! That way lies madness! She returned her wayward attention to the report.


The rustling sound came again. Ignore him, he’s fine. Another rustle and a rattle this time. What is he doing? Looking up, Kathryn jumped to her feet in shock.


The plant with grabby tendencies she had been given had slithered over to Chakotay and was wrapping itself around him. “Oh, no, you don’t!”


Kathryn was moaning in pleasure, moving under him and clutching him tighter. Her nails raked down his back as she climaxed. Spirits, she’s wild!


Chakotay’s eyes flew open at the sharp pain in his back. Kathryn was leaning over him, her face close to his. Was it a dream? Reaching for her, he found his arms pinned to his sides.


“Hang on; I’ll get it off of you.” Every time she pulled one vine loose, another wrapped around him. “I hope.”


“Kathryn?” He looked down to see green vines wrapped tightly around him.


“I thought it was safe to put it over here.”


“At my end of the sofa?” He struggled to free his arms. “Thanks for thinking of me!”


“I didn’t think it could reach this far! And it’s my sofa, mister!” Kathryn tugged the vines away from his chest. “See if you can stand up.”


Getting to his feet, he took a half step and nearly fell. The vines were wrapped around his ankles. One of the vines snaked up his leg, wrapping firmly around his thigh.


“I think it likes you.” She bit her lip to keep from laughing.


“It isn’t funny!” Something sharp gouged into his inner thigh. “The damn thing has thorns!”


“It doesn’t either.” The vine she pulled at did seem rooted to his leg. “Good gosh, it does! Those weren’t there earlier!”


Chakotay sucked in his breath as Kathryn’s hands pulled at the vine. The thorns had buried themselves in deeply enough to hurt. Her fingers gently pulled the thorns out of his inner thigh, making him flinch.


“Relax; I won’t compromise your virtue.” Pulling the last thorn free, she tugged the vine down and away from him.


“Kathryn!” His voice was alarmed. A vine had slithered around his waist and down between his legs.


“It won’t hurt you, calm down.”


The vine tightened, sinking thorns into his hip, and he yelped. “Kathryn! I’d like to be a father someday!”


Kathryn put her hand between the vine and his crotch. If he wanted to have children… those thorns were too close for comfort.


Chakotay didn’t know what bothered him more, the plant or Kathryn’s hand cupping his balls protectively with one hand while she tugged at the vines with the other.


His hand tangled into her hair, distracting her. Looking up, she saw he was panting and the black velvet eyes were glittering. “You can not possibly be aroused.”


“Try me.” He gritted his teeth. “Get this damn plant off me and I’ll show you.”


Her hand moved up. He was hard. Very hard. Kathryn smiled as his fingers tightened in her hair, pulling her face closer. “Is there any situation where a man can’t get sexually excited?”


“You’re touching me. I’d have to be dead for your touch not to excite me.”


“Chakotay, I – “ A tendril tried to force itself between him and her hand. “Back off!” The tendril retreated. “Maybe we’ve been going about this the wrong way? Get off! You can’t have him, he’s mine!”  The vines rustled and pulled back.


“Kathryn?” Chakotay’s eyes were wide and surprised at her words.


“Hang on, I’m on to something here.” Setting back on her heels, she barked at the plant. “Get your vines off and get back in your pot!” The vines began a rapid retreat to the safety of their pot.


Her hand was still on him as she ordered the plant into submission. Looking up at him, Kathryn gave him a crooked smile and one last gentle squeeze. Getting to her feet, she placed her hands carefully on his shoulders. “Let’s talk about this fatherhood idea of yours.”


“All right.” He smiled, dimples flashing. “I think it goes along with that ‘he’s mine’ statement of yours.”


“Could be.” She pressed her lips to his.  “Could be.”




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