Life and Death Situations

By Maquis Leader




Rating NC17




“Oh, Chakotay, it’s beautiful!”


Chakotay smiled at Kathryn. The sunset was nice. She was beautiful as far as he was concerned. The light was streaming through the cotton dress she was wearing, silhouetting her body for him.


“Look at the river down there. This reminds me of the Grand Canyon.” She peered over the edge. “I think there’s a trail.”


“Kathryn, get back from the edge.” A sudden sense of dread gripped his heart. “Get back!”


“You worry too much.” She was turning back to him when the edge gave way beneath her feet.


“Kathryn!” Lunging for her, he caught her wrist as she fell. Her momentum pulled him down, slamming his stomach and chest into the ground.


Crying out as his hold on her wrist jerked her fall to a stop, Kathryn twisted against the pain.


“Grab my wrist with your other hand!” He held his left hand down to her.


Grabbing his extended hand, she pulled herself up along his forearms. “My combadge – can you reach it?”


“It’s gone!” The badge had been scraped off the front of her dress. “Let me see if I can reach mine.” Chakotay let go of her left arm to hit his own badge. Kathryn shrieked as she slid down to hang from his left arm with both hands. Catching her hands again, he pulled her up towards him. “I’m laying on it! Can’t get to it!” He pushed down on the combadge, grinding it into his chest. “Chakotay to Voyager! Voyager can you hear me?” Either his weight wasn’t enough to trigger the badge or it wasn’t picking up his voice.


“Chakotay, let me go!”




“You’ll be pulled over with me!”


“I don’t care!” He pulled her up to him, getting his hands around her upper arms. The lip of dirt he was laying on crumbled under him. As he pitched forward, Kathryn’s hands slid down his arms again, her nails digging furrows into his skin.


“Kathryn, let go with your right hand and grab my other wrist! I’ll grab your dress! Maybe I can pull you up that way!”


“I’ll try!” She sucked in a deep breath, and then let go with her right hand. For a terrifying moment she dangled, held only by Chakotay’s grip on her other arm. Flailing, she found his arm and hung on.


Chakotay worked his free hand into the material between her shoulders. Grunting, he began hauling her up.


Pulling herself up his arm, Kathryn got a handful of his shirt. There was a ripping sound and she lurched back down. She screamed as she once again found herself hanging from his hand.


“No!” Chakotay felt his heart stop as her dress tore. Reaching for her again, he grabbed a handful of her hair at the back of her head. Ignoring her agonized cries, he pulled her up.


When he had her over the crumbling lip, he rolled them over several times until they lay a safe distance from the edge. “Forgive me, Kathryn.” He gasped. Strands of red hair clung to his hand. “I couldn’t let you fall.”


Tears streamed down her face from the pain in her scalp and the close brush with death. “Oh, God…”


“Kathryn, it’s okay, you’re safe.” He looked down into her fear filled eyes. “Shh… you’re safe with me.” Kissing the tears off her cheeks, he stroked her hair comfortingly.


“Don’t let me go!” Her hands were clenched in his shirt. “Please!”


“Never. I’ll never let you go.” Trying to comfort her, he placed gentle kisses on her tear stained face. Her lips were trembling as he brushed across them.


Her arms went around his neck. “Love me, Chakotay.”

“I do, Kathryn, I do.” His mouth came down hard on hers, his tongue pushing inside to taste her. The fear that pounded in his veins turned to passion.

Knowing how close she’d come to dying without having kissed or touched him made Kathryn desperate to do just that. Pulling him over on top of her, she returned his kiss with equal passion as he settled his weight onto her.


Kissing his way down the white throat, he tore open the front of her dress to expose the pink bra she was wearing. Burying his face between the soft mounds, he pushed her legs apart, feeling between them for the small nubbin of nerves at her center. Rubbing her through her panties, he was rewarded with her body arching up and pushing against his.


Unhooking her bra, Kathryn guided his mouth to a hard nipple. Crying out as he sucked it greedily. “Yes, oh, yes!” Her hands roamed over his body, frantic to feel him. The muscles in his back, the silk of his hair, the taut rounded buttocks. Pulling at his shirt, she pushed her hands underneath until she found the velvety skin.


Her panties were in his way, keeping him from getting his fingers fully inside her. Frustrated, he tore them off her body, plunging his fingers inside to stroke and tease her.


Watching as he rose up on his knees over her and opened his pants, she felt no shame that she lay sprawled out before him, breasts reddened from his hands and mouth, legs spread wide, wet and ready for him. Reaching up to touch him, she marveled at the size and thickness of him. How would it feel to have him inside of her? “Chakotay, please…”


Covering her body with his once again, Chakotay rubbed the throbbing tip in her wetness. She moaned and curved up to meet him. With a gentle push, he slid the full length inside her, gasping at the tight heat.


Kathryn pulled his mouth to hers, thrusting her tongue into his mouth in an erotic rhythm with their bodies. He was strong, pumping into her, grinding her into the ground. Locking her legs around him, she welcomed the explosive pressure building from where they were joined.


He was dying from the pleasure. She was moving beneath him, whimpering and moaning just as he’d dreamed so many times. Just as his climax ripped through him, she arched up under him and cried out his name.




“My chest hurts.”


Chakotay lifted his head to look at her. “I’m sorry, I’m too heavy to lay on you like this.”


“No, it’s not that.” Kathryn sucked in her breath painfully as he shifted on top of her. “I think I’ve got some scrapes.”


Her chest and stomach were covered in scrapes and bruises. “Spirits, Kathryn! Why didn’t you say something?”


“I just did.” She gave him a cooked smile. “Chakotay, about what just happened.”


He bent to kiss her. “It was wonderful. I love you.” His heart froze in his chest as she turned her face away.


“It was a mistake.”


“No, no, I can’t believe that.”


“It was a … reaction… to what happened. Nothing more.” She turned back to him, her jaw set. “Nothing more.” She repeated firmly.


“You can’t pretend this didn’t happen. You can’t – “ Her Captain’s mask was firmly back in place. That’s exactly what she intended to do.




“Chakotay to Paris.”


“No, no, no!”


“Chakotay to Paris.”


“Paris here.” Tom slapped his combadge. “I’m a little busy, Chakotay.”


“Too bad, lieutenant.” Chakotay’s voice was clipped and angry.


“Come on, I’m on leave! Give me a – ouch – break!” B'Elanna had nipped the inside of his thigh.


“Get your med kit, the Captain’s had an accident.”


“What? Do we need to get her to Sickbay?” Tom pushed B'Elanna’s head back and hurriedly pulled his pants back up.


“It’s not that serious, but she needs attention.”


“Give me a minute and I’ll be right there. Paris out.” Grabbing his med kit, he gave his wife a quick kiss. “I’ll be back soonest, love.” With one last squeeze of her bare breasts, he contacted Voyager and asked to be beamed to Chakotay and the Captain’s location.


When Tom materialized, they were arguing. “Please state the nature of the medical emergency.” He joked. Both of them gave him nasty looks.


“The edge of the cliff gave way and I fell, Mr. Paris.” The Captain said.


“Okay.” He ran his medical tricorder over her. There was definitely something else going on here. He didn’t doubt those scrapes and bruises came from a fall, but how exactly did her lips get so swollen? And her dress was ripped open all the way down the front. “You’ve got some nasty scrapes, strained shoulder and wrist, and -- oh hello!”


“What?” She frowned at his outburst.


“Uh, um, a couple of bruised ribs, too, Captain.” Tom looked carefully at the readout. Oh, my! Those were definitely not supposed to be there! Getting the dermal regenerator, he ran it over the various bruises on her body. Let’s see… torn dress, arguing couple, hmm… One plus one equals two. Or maybe three in this case.


Chakotay stood over him as he ran the regenerator over her breasts. “Watch yourself, Paris.”


“I’m a doctor, not a peeping Tom.” He grinned at the Captain, but she didn’t seem to get the joke. He sighed. “I’ll behave.” When he finished healing her injuries, he placed a hypospray against her neck.


“What was that for?” She rubbed her neck.


“Pain and an antibiotic, Captain. Just in case.”


“Thank you, Tom.” She straightened what was left of her dress. “Please, keep this to yourself. I don’t want the crew to think their Captain is a klutz.”


“Not a peep, ma’am.” He watched as she beamed directly back to her quarters.


Chakotay turned to him. “One word, Paris.”


“Hey, Chief, you can count on me to be discrete.” He held his hands up. Running the regenerator over the scratches on Chakotay’s arms and the scrapes on his chest, Tom ducked his head to hide his smile. That was definitely a bite mark on the Indian’s shoulder. “Here you go, Big Guy.”


Chakotay waved the hypo spray away. “No, nothing for pain.”


“Fine, have it your way. But you’re getting the antibiotic, the Doc’ll chew my hide if you get some alien infection from the dirt or something.”


“Fine.” Chakotay let Tom inject him with the antibiotic. The scratches on his back stung as he called for transport back to Voyager.


After Chakotay had beamed up, Tom picked up the pink scrap of material he’d purposely set his med kit on top of. “Well isn’t this interesting?” Tucking the torn panties into his med kit, he pondered the treasure trove that had dropped into his lap. Torn non-Starfleet regulation panties, hormonal readings off the scale, and several million of – he’d bet his last ration – Chakotay’s sperm in the Captain’s body instead of his own. All recorded dutifully by his tricorder. And he couldn’t say a word. “Damn!”






Shore leave ended and Voyager was once again headed for the Alpha quadrant. In the following weeks, the distance between the command team grew until Chakotay was putting in only token appearances on the bridge. The majority of his time was spent in his office. The two were polite and cool towards each other, never spending any more time together than was absolutely necessary.


Chakotay hadn’t been in her ready room in weeks, so it was with some surprise that Kathryn looked up to see him enter.


“Captain, we can’t continue acting this way. It’s not good for the crew.”


“I agree.” She smiled at him; glad he’d finally come to his senses. She’d missed him.


“I’m changing over to Gamma shift.” His gaze was fixed on a point in space over her left shoulder. “That way there’s minimal contact expected between us and I can still maintain a presence on the bridge.”


The air left her lungs in a rush. He wanted to get farther away from her, not reconcile their differences. “Chakotay, this isn’t the answer – “


“Short of leaving the ship, it’s the only answer.”


“Leave Voyager? No.” Her heart was pounding in her ears, deafening her.


“Then I’ll start on Gamma shift tomorrow.” He turned and left without waiting to be dismissed.


How had it come to this? She leaned her elbows on her desk, her head in her hands. That night after they’d beamed back to the ship, she’d gone to his quarters.



“It’s not that I don’t love you, Chakotay, but Starfleet regulations are clear on the subject. We can not have a personal relationship.”


“Don’t worry, Captain. We don’t have a personal relationship. Not anymore.” He turned away to stare out the viewport. “You know your way out.”



Why couldn’t he understand? Didn’t he realize this was tearing her apart? That she lay awake at night remembering every second of their one moment of passion? Remembering his body sliding against hers, his breath hot on her skin, the feel of him hard and full inside of her, until she cried herself to sleep. Getting up from the desk, a wave of dizziness hit her and forced her to sit back down. That was the third one today. The dizzy spells had started a few days ago and were increasing in frequency. Like it or not, she was going to have to see the Doctor. Maybe. If it happened again.






“Alright, let’s get started on it. It’s not everyday we find a planet with spacedock facilities.” Looking around the table at her senior staff, Kathryn carefully avoided Chakotay’s eyes. “Dismissed.” A wave of dizziness hit her as she stood.




She waved away Harry’s concern. “I’m fine. Just stood up too fast.” Her vision was graying around the edges, reduced to a small tunnel of clarity. “I just need a second...” Through the roaring in her ears, she heard Chakotay calling her name. She should just close her eyes for a second and she’d be fine.


Opening her eyes, she saw the corridor lights going by overhead. Her cheek was pressed up against a broad shoulder, and she could hear a heartbeat pounding under her ear. Closing her eyes again, she breathed in the familiar spicy masculine scent and stole a few precious moments in Chakotay’s arms.


“Put her on the bed.” The Doctor ordered as they entered Sickbay. “Captain? Captain, can you hear me?”


“Yes.” She clung to Chakotay’s arms as he laid her on the biobed.


“Excuse me, Commander.” The Doctor motioned him to step aside.


“Will she be all right?”


“A two second analysis doesn’t allow me to make a diagnosis. I suppose it’s too much to ask for you to actually wait until I’ve done a full scan?”


“I’m fine, just a little dizzy.” Kathryn tried to sit up, but the Doctor’s hand in the center of her chest held her down.


“I should do a paper on the proper restraint techniques for command officers.” He said dryly as he ran the medical scanner over her with the other hand. “I’m sure you were fine right up to the point where you fainted.”


“I’ve never fainted in my life!”


“Well then, congratulations are in order. Happy first fainting spell. I’ll buy you a card at the first Hallmark shop we pass.” The Doctor arched an eyebrow at the reading on his scanner. “Guess I was right. Congratulations are in order. Make that two cards I owe you.”


“Enough, Doctor.” She’d had enough of his acidic humor. “Tell me what’s wrong, give me the cure for it, and let me the hell out of here.”


“There’s nothing wrong with you and I’m afraid there’s no cure.” He smiled at her.


“Then why did she faint?” Chakotay demanded. The moment she’d staggered and fell to the briefing room floor had scared the hell out of him.


“That happens at this early stage of development.” He pressed a hypospray to her neck. “This will help with the dizziness.”


“You just said I wasn’t sick.” Kathryn rubbed at her neck.


“You’re not. You’re pregnant.” He patted Chakotay on the back. “Congratulations, Commander.”


“What?” Her voice was a shriek that made both men wince. “I can’t possibly be pregnant!”


“Have you had sex within the last eight weeks?”


“Uh, well…” Her mind raced back to that one time. She looked at Chakotay; he was leaning on the end of the bed using it for support. “Once.”


“Once is all it takes, Captain.” The Doctor said smugly. “I expect to see you in here every three weeks for the next six months. Without requiring a security detail.”


“That won’t be necessary.” Her voice was a dull monotone.


“It does my heart good. “ He paused. “If I had a heart, that is. To have some cooperation for a change.” Inputting information on a small PADD he was holding, the Doctor missed the look on her face. “Now in your last month you’ll need to come in once a week – “


“There won’t be a last month.” The Doctor looked up from the schedule. “Terminate the pregnancy. Now.”


“Kathryn!” Chakotay’s hands were on her shoulders. “Kathryn, think about what you’re saying!”


“I’m the Captain of a starship, I can’t have a baby.”


“Kathryn, please!” His voice was anguished. “I know you don’t love me, but please don’t kill our child!”


“Chakotay, I do love you.” Tears were threatening to leak out from under her Captain’s mask. “But I can’t have a baby. Not here. Not in the Delta quadrant.”


“And if we weren’t in the Delta quadrant?”


“I could take leave to have it – go back after it was born.”


Chakotay flinched. ‘It’. Their baby was ‘it’ to her. “You can take leave, I can –“


“No! This is my ship!” Kathryn snarled at him. “Mine! This baby can’t happen! We can never happen!”


He stepped back from her anger. Turning, he stalked out of Sickbay.


“Captain, I realize this is a shock – “ The Doctor had recovered his wits.


“To say the least – what happened to my contraceptive booster?”


“Yes, well, there’s been an accident.” He grimaced. “Make that two accidents. The antibiotic Mr. Paris gave you counteracted the contraceptives.”


“Why would he do that?” Tom couldn’t have known they’d made love and even if he did, she didn’t believe he would deliberately have countered her contraceptive.


“I don’t believe he was aware of the effect of one drug on the other. You’re not sexually active – normally. He may not have considered the implications. He does see you as a mother figure after all.”


“It doesn’t matter.” She lay back down on the bed. “Just terminate it and give me a new booster.”


“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”


“Maybe you didn’t hear me clearly, Doctor. That was an order.”


“Under the circumstances, I can’t terminate the pregnancy.” He held up a hand as she started to protest. “For one week.”


“I assume you have a reason behind the delay?” She sat up again.


“As the Captain, you can’t afford to make a hasty decision that you may regret later.”


“One week?”


“One week. Off duty. I’ll tell the crew you’re suffering from the flu in the meantime.” He patted her leg. “And Captain, please talk to Chakotay. Consider the repercussions of this decision on your relationship. And on the crew. Your recent estrangement has been hard on the crew. This could be even more so.”




This was a disaster. She walked slowly back to her quarters. If she had the baby, she would lose Voyager. If she got rid of the baby, she’d lose Chakotay and still might lose Voyager. It just wasn’t fair! One time, one mistake and her life was in shambles.


Once in her quarters, she replicated a cup of coffee and went to stare out the viewport. The door chime interrupted her thoughts. “Come in.” She knew who it was before she turned.


“The Doctor said you were going to wait for a week.” Chakotay stopped just inside the door. “To think it through.”


“My decision affects more than just myself.”


“I’ll leave you alone for a few days, Kathryn. But we will talk about how this affects us – not Voyager or the crew – us! If you want to talk before then, call me no matter what time and I’ll come to you.” He turned to go. “I love you, Kathryn, just try to remember that while you’re thinking.” The doors snapped shut behind him.


“Try to remember? That’s all I can think of.”






“Chakotay, I haven’t made a decision yet.” Kathryn ran a hand through her hair. “I know it’s been three days, but I can’t decide what to do.”


“I know.” He stood just inside the door to her quarters in the same place he had the last time he was in her quarters. As if there was an invisible barrier there that prevented him from coming in any farther. “I just wanted you to know that I’m willing to raise the baby alone if you don’t want him or her.”


“You’d still be on the ship, how would that be any different?” She knew he’d take it and never expect anything from her.


“You wouldn’t have to worry about being a mother. Or be with me.”


“It’s no different. My child would be here -- I couldn’t ignore that. I don’t have the luxury of being a mother and a Captain.”


“I’d leave Voyager with the baby it you want.” The pain in his eyes was evidence of what that statement cost him to say aloud.


“No. That’s not an option.” Living without him wasn’t something she could face.


“Kathryn, if you kill our child, I won’t be able to stay on the ship.”


“Oh, but, hey, no pressure!” She snapped. “Don’t you think this is difficult enough without you handing me an ultimatum?”


“It’s not an ultimatum, Kathryn. It’s my decision.” He left before she could answer.






By the fifth day, Kathryn thought she’d lose her mind trying to come to a decision. One moment it was clear that she had to terminate – the next she’d think of Chakotay and be right back where she started. His ultimatum hadn’t helped any, no matter what he wanted to call it.


Trips to the holodeck hadn’t helped and the Starfleet Officer’s Manual didn’t offer any suggestions for this particular scenario. Once you broke the rule on fraternization, you were on your own. In desperation she pulled out the small medicine bundle she’d made.


Sitting on the floor, she opened it. Inside was the dried rose Chakotay given her after the alien had tried to convince her she was dead, the gold earring she’d had on when she’d made love to ‘Captain Miller’ – the other one had been lost somewhere – and the smooth stone Chakotay had given her with the circular pattern carved into it. Pretty sad as medicine bundles go. She’d noticed Chakotay had another, smaller bundle inside his that he put aside and told her he couldn’t show her. They were things he’d collected that had special meaning for him. He would lose the medicine they contained if he showed them to her. He’d laughed when she asked if he was a medicine man.


Placing her fingers on the akoonah, she chanted softly as he’d taught her…



Hot wind blew her hair into her eyes. Looking around the bleak landscape she stumbled over a large rock and fell. Gravel bit into her hands and knees. Laughter drifted to her.


Looking up, she saw a coyote sitting a few feet away, his tongue lolling out. “Clumsy, aren’t you?”


“Where’s my guide? What have you done with him?

“Maybe he’s busy.” A grin. “Maybe I ate him.”


Picking up a rock, she started to throw it at him before she remembered Chakotay telling her that Coyote was a trickster and mischief maker. It wouldn’t do to upset him. She had enough mischief in her life. “Are you here to help me?”


“Aren’t you here to help yourself?”


“Yes, I guess I am.” Getting to her feet, Kathryn looked around. It was a desolate, barren place. “There’s nothing here.”


“And here I thought you liked being alone.”


“I don’t like being alone.”


“Don’t you?” Coyote trotted off. After a few steps he stopped and looked back over his shoulder.


Following him, she trudged across the desert. Her hair blew around her head. “Why do I always have long hair in these visions?”


“Because that ‘s what you want.” He laughed. “Here is where Kathryn gets what she wants -- not what the Captain wants.”


“Kathryn is the Captain.”


“No she’s not.”


“I am Kathryn and I am the Captain.”


“Yes. And no.” He giggled.


She stopped. “Listen, you flea bitten mutt! Kathryn and the Captain are the same person. You are just a figment of my imagination!”


“No, the Captain is the figment of your imagination.” Coyote disappeared down a gully.


“What the hell does that mean?” Kathryn yelled after him. “Why can’t I get the wise animal guide who helps me that Chakotay keeps telling me about?”


Following Coyote down the gully, she found him drinking from a stream. Dropping to her knees, she bathed her face and neck, taking a long drink from the cool water. Looking around, she spotted a small shaded glade. “This is more like it.” Getting to her feet, she walked towards it.


“Oh, I wouldn’t go in there.” Coyote told her.


“And why not?”


“You might not like what you see.” He grinned at her. “Well, Kathryn might, but the Captain won’t. No, not at all.”


“Well, since the Captain is a ‘figment of my imagination’ I guess I don’t care what she thinks.”


Coyote laughed.


As she stepped into the shade, Kathryn heard a low growl. Another step and the growl sounded again. Clearly a warning. What was in here? Taking another step forward, the growl grew deeper and more threatening. All her life she’d had a dog. She knew that sound. Back off or else.


Crouching down, she carefully parted the tall grass in front of her, creeping slowly forward. She saw the yellow eyes first, then the white fangs. A low rumbling sounded in her ears. “Easy, I won’t hurt you.” Crawling into the small clearing, she reguarded the gray wolf in lying in front of her. The steady gaze unnerved her. This was not your ordinary wolf.


“Hello.” The wolf blinked but didn’t answer. Holding out her hand, Kathryn let the wolf sniff the back of it. “See, I’m okay.”


The wolf turned from her and nuzzled something at her side. There was a soft mewling sound.


“Oh.” Kathryn saw the small cub nestled up to the wolf’s side. Reddish brown fur covered the small form. “Oh, he’s precious.” She reached out to touch him.


White fangs closed around her hand in warning. “I’m sorry. I know better. May I touch him?” The fangs withdrew but hovered over her hand. Gently, she stroked the cub’s soft fur. The cub turned large brown eyes to her. Oh God. “Chakotay.” She wrapped her hands around the cub to pick him up. The she wolf surged up, fangs going for her throat.


Screaming, she threw herself back as they bit into her flesh.


Coyote laughed.




Falling back against the sofa, Kathryn felt her throat, convinced she was bleeding. There was nothing there. “What did that mean?” Was the wolf angry with her because she tried to take the cub or because she thought she wanted to hurt him? Good God, she wasn’t any closer to a solution than before!


After putting the medicine bundle back in its drawer, she decided to take a bath. Maybe a long soak would help her understand the vision better. “Computer, fill bathtub. Setting Janeway 1.” Adding rose scented bubble bath to the swirling water; she started pulling her clothes off. Tossing them into the recycler, she started to press the control when she noticed the blood. The white panties had large splotches of blood staining them. Getting a washcloth, Kathryn wiped between her legs, more blood stained the rag. “Chakotay! Janeway to Chakotay!”


He answered immediately. “What’s wrong, Kathryn?”


“I’m bleeding! Oh, God, I’m bleeding!”


She was sitting on the floor crying when he burst into her bathroom. Scooping her up in his arms, he called for an emergency beam out. “—ctor!” He was shouting even as they materialized in Sickbay. “She’s bleeding!”


“Put her on the bed.” The Doctor calmly looked over the readings. “Get her a gown if you please, Commander.”


Chakotay pried his fingers lose from Kathryn’s long enough to grab a med gown for her.


“Is there any cramping or pressure?” The Doctor asked.


“No.” Her smoky blue eyes were huge in her pale face.


“Get a blanket.” He ordered Chakotay as he came back with the gown. Gently he cleaned the blood away with a sterile wipe. “Did you lift anything heavy or do any strenuous activity?”




“Is she going to be alright?” Chakotay laid the blanket across her as the Doctor finished and laid her legs flat.


“She’s fine.” The bed tilted up so that her head was lower than her feet.


“And the baby?” Kathryn clutched at Chakotay’s hands. “Is the baby alright?”


“He’s perfectly fine. Would you like to see?”


“Yes.” Chakotay answered before she could speak.


“Now keep in mind that at nine weeks there’s not a lot to see.” He touched a control and a small image appeared over the bio bed. “Here he is.”


Kathryn and Chakotay stared at the small form. The Doctor was right, there wasn’t much to see. Big eyes and small budding arms and legs. “A boy?” She asked. “I’m going to have a boy?”


“Ah, the baby is always called ‘he’ to, ah, distinguish from the mother. So, ah…” he shrugged, they weren’t listening to him anyway.


“Kathryn?” Chakotay looked away from the baby’s image.


“I – he didn’t seem real until now. Just some inconvience, some thing inside of me that was messing up my life.” She wiped at her tears. “Then there was the blood and – and – “ she buried her face in his chest.


“It was just some spotting.” The Doctor explained. “Nothing to worry about, but I’d like her to rest here for a few hours.” He walked away to give them privacy.


“Kathryn, have you changed your mind? Do you want the baby?

“Yes, oh, yes. I love you and I want our baby. I – “ his mouth cut off the rest of her words, kissing her greedily. “Wait.” She pushed him back. “How are we going to manage this?”


“You can take time off when you need to. You’ve got a good crew, we can handle things.” He smiled down at her. “Tom and B'Elanna will be having their baby soon and it hasn’t slowed her down any. We probably need to build a nursery.”


“Probably, I imagine there’ll be more babies born before we get home.”


Chakotay buried his face in Kathryn’s neck. “Tell me you love me again.”


“I love you, Chakotay.” His shoulders were trembling under her hands. “Doctor, I can rest in the holodeck just as easily as I can here.”


“Certainly, Captain, just keep your feet elevated for the next few hours and no ah… extracurricular activities for 24 hours. Strictly as a precaution.”


“Computer, is there anyone in holodeck 1?”


“Holodeck 1 is empty.”


“Reserve it for me for the next two hours and initiate a site to site beam out for myself and Commander Chakotay.”


“Reserving holodeck1. Prepare for beam out.”


Sickbay faded away and the holodeck faded in. “Computer, run program Paris Risa 1A and delete characters.” Chakotay ordered. The holodeck changed to a bedroom dominated by a large circular bed. He began piling pillows under her feet.


“Figures Tom would have something like this.” Kathryn looked at the bottles and other items on the bedside tables.


“Actually, Harry uses this – Tom designed it, but hasn’t used it as far as I know.” He settled down on the bed next to her.


“And just how do you know that? Been using this program yourself?”


“Not hardly. Slave girls aren’t my style.” He laughed. “I run a check every so often to see if anyone’s using holograms of other crewmembers. Harry was ah, using the Delaney sisters in here.”


“Harry?” She should have known that innocent look was too good to be true.


“The big surprise was Seven’s program. She was using me.”


“What? Why that – that – Borg – “ she sputtered. “You’re twice her age!”


“Ouch!” He fell back with his hand over his heart.


“You know what I mean.” She laid her head down on his chest. “You’re mine.”




“Not a bit. I’m sure it’ll be an accident when I trip and push her out the airlock.” His chest rumbled under her ear with his laughter. “So, we’re going to have a baby.”


“Looks that way.” Chakotay rubbed his hand over her stomach. “Do you move in with me, do I move in with you, or do we just connect our quarters?”


“Connect them, I think, more room. Kids need room.” They lay together without speaking for sometime, enjoying the comforting feel of their bodies pressed together. Rising up on his chest, Kathryn asked. “Do you want to see him again?”


“Sure.” He could easily spend the rest of his life staring at their child.


“Computer, access my medical files. Access baby's DNA sequence and create image of the baby at full term.”


Floating before them was a baby curled as if in sleep. Dark hair covered the tiny head and large brown eyes stared solemnly at them.


“Oh my.” Kathryn crawled over to the image. “He’s beautiful. He’s got reddish brown hair, just like in my vision.”


“You saw him in a vision?” He didn’t know she’d ever taken another vision quest after that one time.


“Yes. Well, no. I saw a wolf cub. There was a gray wolf and she had a cub. His fur was dark brown, but reddish.”


“Kathryn, you’re not supposed to tell me about your spirit guide.”


“Oh, she’s not mine. Mine didn’t show up. Can one spirit animal eat another one?”


“I don’t think so. Why?” Chakotay was shocked. His spirit guide had appeared in Kathryn’s vision!


“Let’s just say… mischief may have had a hand in things.”


“Ah, I see.” He grinned. “I think that if Tom has a spirit guide, it would have to be Coyote.”


“I keep thinking that he wouldn’t deliberately give me something to counter my booster, then I think, I dunno…”


“Tell you what, let’s place a bet and clean him out – we’re going to need the extra rations.”


“Deal.” They kissed on it. A soft sweet kiss that turned hungry on both their parts. Tongues sliding into each other’s mouth, hands fondling and caressing.


Breathing hard, Chakotay pulled away from her clinging lips. “I’d like a little girl.”


“Really? I thought all men wanted boys.” Her hand cupped his erection, causing him to moan softly. “Proof of their manhood and all that.”


“It’s traditional to ask the spirits for a girl first.” He pulled her hand up to his lips. “A daughter can help her mother with the children that follow.” The smile was one of blatant male sexuality “How many children is the proof of a man’s virility.”


“Well, let’s see what she’d look like, shall we?” Sitting back, they called up an image of a daughter to join their son.



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