Exit Stage Left

By Maquis Leader




“We were so lucky that Seven was able to stop that alien with her Borg nanoprobes!”


“Harry, come on, we’d have figured something out.” Tom rolled his eyes. “B'Elanna would have come up with something.” He hugged her affectionately.


“Hands off, flyboy!” The half Klingon snarled. “Not after what you did last night!”


“Oh, come on, honey!”


Harry smiled and shook his head. “You two always fighting.” The turbolift doors opened and still watching the arguing couple, he stepped inside.


A scream made Tom and B'Elanna look up. Harry was gone and the turbolift doors gaped open. But the lift wasn’t there. Rushing to the opening, they looked down the black shaft to see Harry’s body crumpled far below.




In Sickbay, the Doctor pulled a sheet over Harry’s face. “I’m sorry, he’s dead.”


“No, no!” B'Elanna collapsed crying against Tom. He struggled to hold back his own tears.


“It must have been damaged in our battle with the alien.” Tom comforted her.


“It’s not fair!” She sobbed into her husband’s shoulder. “There’s no honor in such a death!”


“How could this happen? What about the safety protocols?” Chakotay clenched his fists in frustration.


“Chakotay, it’s no one’s fault.” Captain Janeway stepped close so that their bodies touched and placed a hand on his chest. “Sometimes these things just… happen.”


Chakotay calmed visibly. “It was his time.” The two of them stood staring into each other’s eyes.


“We’re lucky he was the only casualty.” The Doctor said mournfully. “If not for Seven and her Borg nanoprobes, we’d all be dead.




“What? What crap is this?” Robbie threw his script down.


“Oh my God! They killed Harry!” Roxann crumpled her own script.


“Those bastards!”


“Have Kate and Robert seen this?”


“Who knows?” He rolled his eyes. “They disappeared into her trailer hours ago.”


“Falling down a turbolift shaft? For God’s sakes, that’s so soap opera!”


“As the Borg turns?”


“How come 2 of 38D didn’t manage to save him?” Roxann snorted. “I mean, she just saved the whole ship – again! Never mind that I’m supposed to be the Chief Engineer!”


“You? What are you bitching about? She pushes me out of my seat and flies the fucking ship!” Robbie paged through the script and pointed out the scene.


“I hear…” She glanced around the set before continuing in a whisper. “I hear Braga is going to hook Seven up with Chakotay.”


“No! Seriously?” His eyes widened. “Kate will have a catfit! He’s her boy toy.”


“He may be her Maquis stud in her dressing room, but onscreen she won’t fuck with her role model image.”


“Dried up old maid image, you mean.” He sighed. “Better than boring old married couple image. I almost wish they hadn’t let Tom and B'Elanna get married.”


“At least you’re not carting around 20lbs of extra weight!”


“What the hell is this?” The door from the lot crashed opened and Kate stormed in. Robert followed a moment later, still fastening his belt. “Where’s Braga?”


“Now, Kate!” Braga came scurrying over from where he had been buffing Jeri’s toenails.


“Don’t you ‘now, Kate’ me!” She planted her hands on her hips. “She sits in my chair!”


“Only because you’re unconscious.” He gave her an oily smile. “And Chakotay is carrying you to Sickbay.”


“Why doesn’t Seven carry her?” Robert sneered. “With her Borg strength?”


“And you killed poor Harry!”


“Well, Kate, it’s like this…” He backed away from her glare. “We’re bringing on a new character, you’ll like her.”


“Her?” An auburn eyebrow arched up.


“The Orion slave girl that you rescue!”


“Orion slave girl?” Robbie and Robert chorused.


“While we’re in the Delta Quadrant? The Orions are an Alpha Quadrant species!” Kate threw her script at him. “How stupid do you think our fans are?”


“We’ll explain it, it’ll work! And…” Braga rubbed his hands together. “Pamela Anderson has signed to play her!”


“What? Now I’ve got another set of boobs to share the screen with?”


Across the set, Jeri’s velvet chair fell over with a crash. “Brannon!”


“Yes, dear?” He scurried back to her side.


“I don’t want Harry to die.”


“Oh, well, no problem, darling! We’ll kill Tom then.”


“Hey!” Robbie protested.


“You can’t kill Tom, either.”




“No. You’re not killing anyone and you’re not adding a new character.”


“But, sweetums!”


She thrust her breasts in his face. “Or no more Borg love slave.”


“Uh… oh…” Braga gathered up all the scripts. “I’ll change it, honey bunch! Harry is fine, just some broken bones and the slave girl – “


“No!” Jeri’s blue eyes were icy.


“Whatever you want, dearest!” He scuttled away to do a frantic rewrite.


“Come on, Robert.” Kate put a hand on his arm. “Let’s go discuss our characters' motivation some more.”


“Of course.” The black velvet eyes lit up and he smiled, giving her a flash of his dimples. Resting his hand on the small of her back, he guided her back to her trailer.


“Hey, guys!” Garrett walked onto the set. “What’s up?”


“Business as usual.” Roxann said disgustedly. Robbie laughed and slapped Garrett on the back.


You didn't really think I'd kill Harry, did you?

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