Chakotay And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

By Maquis Leader




Rating R or maybe even light NC17 for sexual situations. Where do you think the baby came from?

Author’s note: This is a companion piece to Ralkana's Kathryn And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. This story is from Chakotay’s POV and Ralkana’s is from Kathryn’s. Read them both and you get double dose of sappy baby fic. Don’t say you weren’t warned… Anyone who gripes about sap and/or baby fic will be dealt with severely. We’ll send Tuvok to your house to read his Vulcan poetry.


Author’s note II – No compression phaser rifles were fired during the writing of these stories. Both authors are still alive and writing. Much to our surprise.





“Idiot! Moron!”


People along the sidewalk moved aside for the crazy man walking through their midst.


“Stick your nose out of your office, you old fool!” Chakotay growled as he stalked toward home. Another meeting with the Dean of Starfleet Academy’s Tactical Studies had turned into another shouting match.


Hope that the long walk would cool him down had proven to be futile. Instead his anger had increased with every step. As he neared home, he swung into the small park and sat down on the edge of the fountain.


Closing his eyes, Chakotay focused on the sound of the water burbling and splashing. The droplets splattering rhythmically against the stone slowly began to soothe his anger away. Heaving a sigh, he imagined the spirit of the fountain washing the harsh feelings from his soul.


He chuckled. Better not take this home to Kathryn again. She was ready now to dig out a compression phaser rifle. Water sprinkled against his face. A fat drop struck his forehead followed by another on his nose. A rumble of thunder was his only warning before the sky opened and rain poured out.


Jumping up, he grabbed his bag and began jogging for home. After two blocks, his left knee reminded him of the fall from his horse when he was sixteen. At three blocks, his ribs reminded him of the Cardassian boots that had caved them in when he was thirty-five. At six blocks his heart and lungs sent him a stern reminder that he was over fifty.


Huffing and puffing, he finally reached his front door and jerked it open when it slid too slowly for his mood. It swished shut quietly behind him. Damn automatic doors! Man can’t even slam the door in his own house anymore! Throwing his bag on the floor of the entryway, Chakotay stomped into the empty living room. Where is she? A noise from the kitchen caught his attention and he walked across the room. Halfway there, he stepped on something that turned his ankle and almost caused him to lose his balance.


Snatching up the item, he glared at the miniature Delta Flyer. “You’re a dead man, Paris!” Throwing it aside, he continued to the kitchen, eager to bury his face in Kathryn’s auburn hair.


The redhead in the kitchen wasn’t Kathryn. Kona, her Irish Setter – her damn dog –  was standing on the counter eating what looked like Chinese takeout. “There was a time my people ate dog.” She whined and crouched down at his tone but continued to munch her egg roll.


Tipping his head up, Chakotay bellowed. “Kathryn!” Not getting an answer, he turned and charged back into the living room and up the stairs. Partway up, his foot tangled with the bag she’d left on the landing. Clutching the rail, he watched the bag tumble down the stairs.


“Kathryn! I could have broken my neck on that damn thing!” He growled out. She’d better be naked and spread across the bed!


At the top of the stairs, he turned toward their bedroom. A shrieking giggle and a splash pulled him back down the hallway. The bathroom door stood ajar and he imagined Kathryn soaking in a mound of scented bubbles.


The sensual image made his cock harden in an instant. His heart beat faster and his breath came in pants. After the day he’d had, he would drag her out of the tub and rape her on the bathroom floor.  A grin covered his face, if a wife as willing as Kathryn could be raped. Easing the door open, he took in the sight of Kathryn kneeling by the tub, her tank top wet and clinging to her. Elbow deep in bubbles, she laughed as she bathed their son.


Leaning on the doorjamb, Chakotay pressed a fist to his chest. His heart hurt from the joy that filled it. The small child had completed his life in a way he wouldn’t have believed possible. Now he understood his father’s unconditional love.


Rhien had filled in the last empty place in his heart and soul. All his life he had felt incomplete and out of place. On Voyager, he had felt at home for the first time and peace had wrapped itself snugly around him, but there had always been that one small missing piece.


A loud splash and Kathryn’s laugh brought him back to the present. Kathryn. His love. His wife. She had thrown her arms around him and told him she loved him five minutes after they burst out of the Borg sphere. Later she had told him that she had spent the first 4:59 working up her nerve.


"Dadadadada." Rhien smiled and tried to stand up in the tub.


"No, Mama." Kathryn held onto his slippery body and tried to wipe more of what looked like chocolate off his face. "You said it right earlier. Mama."


"Dada." He insisted, smiling over her head at his father.


"I'm Mama, sweetheart."


Chakotay smiled as Rhien flung an arm out, drenching his mother in the process. "Dada!"


Kathryn half turned and jumped as she saw him. "Well, hello. How long have you been standing there?" She smiled up at him.


"Have you ever heard the saying 'living in a moment you would die for'?"  When she nodded, he smiled. "I've been here long enough to realize this is that moment."


"Oh, Chakotay." She rose up as he leaned down to kiss her. An indignant squeal and a splash reminded them they weren’t the only two in the room, and she turned her attention back to Rhien.


Tugging off his wet uniform jacket and turtleneck, he grabbed a towel off the rack and sat down to towel his hair dry. Rhien giggled and babbled at him while Kathryn finished washing the chocolate off his face.


Dragging the towel over his damp chest and belly, Chakotay grinned as he noticed how her tank top had pulled up out of her pants and as she leaned forward he was given a nice view of the black panties she was wearing. She stretched to get the sprayer and he caught a glimpse of the white skin hidden under the silk.


A whimper from Rhien caught his attention and he frowned as his son flinched away from the water. It was the only part of getting a bath he didn’t like.  Kathryn was carefully shielding his eyes with her hand, but the dark eyes were wide and frightened. Before he could begin to cry, she pulled him out of the water, holding him against her and soothing him. Rocking him, she whispered to him and kissed his face and hair.


Kathryn looked up and grinned her crooked grin for him and he couldn't help grinning back. "Here, I'll take him now that he's clean and happy." Holding out his arms, he took their son.


"Typical." She rolled her eyes at him as she headed to their bedroom.


Taking the towel she tossed at him, Chakotay went to the changing table. Toweling the baby dry, he told him. "You need to get used to the water, little man." When Chakotay was ten, his cousin had almost drowned because she was a poor swimmer. He still remembered his father and uncle frantically breathing life into her still body.


"Chakotay, he's only a baby."


"He'll be watching while everyone else swims." Lifting Rhien up, he kissed his belly, making him squeal and giggle. "Want to kiss the naked baby before I dress him?”


Chuckling, Kathryn moved closer and kissed Rhien’s belly, then ran a hand over the small golden back and rubbed his chubby bottom. She pressed a kiss to his father’s cheek before moving back toward the bed to finish changing.


Quickly putting a diaper on the baby, Chakotay dug in the dresser with one hand while he held the squirming boy down with the other. "Blue okay with you?" He pulled out a blue jumpsuit and showed it to him. "Mama likes us in blue."


Slipping the kicking legs into the outfit, he sat Rhien up and gently guided the waving arms into the sleeves. Snapping the jumper closed, he lifted him up and combed his fingers through the thick raven hair. "We look good now, don't we?"




"No, Dada."


"Mama." Rhien repeated firmly, flashing a dimpled smile.


"Yes, Mama loves the dimples." He kissed the soft cheek. Turning, he saw Kathryn watching him. She was wrapped in only a towel. The image of another night, moonlight gilding her bare shoulders, flashed into his mind. "Haven't we been here before?" He asked softly.


Her cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink and he knew she’d shared the same memory. Rhien giggled as she tossed the wet towel at them. When it settled over their heads, he shrieked with laughter.


Pulling the towel off them, Chakotay sat on the bed and watched her bend to pick up the dress she’d laid out earlier. Her breasts swung enticingly and her bare hip was inches from his face. Desire rippled through him and it was all he could do to keep from nipping at the soft white buttock as she turned slightly. "This is Daddy's second favorite pastime.” He told his son. “Watching Mommy dress."


She laughed. "And the first would be?"


"Watching Mommy undress."


She rolled her eyes and laughed again as she slipped her dress over her head and shook the wrinkles out.


"So, why was our little man taking a bath so early? Kona been dragging him through the mud again?"


Kathryn snorted. "I wish. No, Hayes hailed me just as I was putting Rhien down for his nap. He demanded yet another useless report so I had to pack everything up and hightail it to Headquarters. While we were there, Jameson asked if he could give Rhien a treat. I was expecting a piece of candy. I was not expecting an ice cream sandwich bigger than my son."


Chakotay laughed. "So, is Jameson still breathing, or do you need a new aide?"


She grinned wickedly. "I think he truly was in fear for his life when he saw the mess it was making. Not to worry, though. I just made sure Rhien ate it on his desk. Let him scrub the chocolate fingerprints off of Necheyev’s status reports." She sat down on the bed next to him, sighing. "My one day off, Chakotay."


More and more, Kathryn was becoming frustrated with Starfleet. She loved her work, but Hayes was demanding more hours on the project and stealing from her time with him and Rhien. He slid an arm around her shoulder and hugged her to him. "I know, beloved."


The baby reached his arms toward his mother. After handing him over to her, he went to the closet and pulled out dry clothes. Leaning on the doorjamb, he pulled off his boots and socks. His wet pants followed them to the floor. Knowing Kathryn was watching him as intently as he had her just moments ago, he shifted slightly so that she could see he was hard and ready for her. Kathryn had never said a word, but he knew that she worried about how she compared to Seven, and he tried to reassure her of how strongly she affected him. Bending, he scooped up the wet clothing and walked across the room to toss them in the refresher.


Pulling on dry pants, Chakotay looked up as Rhien giggled. Kathryn was whispering in his ear. "What are you telling him?"


"Nothing." A mischievous twinkle in her smoky blue eyes said otherwise.


Undoing the top buttons, he pulled the white shirt on over his head, and raked his fingers through his damp hair to smooth it down.


"Your Daddy's right," she said to Rhien. "Watching the clothes come off is much more fun. So, how did you get soaked, anyway?"


Chakotay stiffened as the earlier anger came flooding back. "You don't really want to know."


"Bad day at the office?" Kathryn's voice was soft and husky.


Another bad day at the office." He sighed and sat down on the bed beside her. "Another lecture from Siegel."


Tickling Rhien under the chin, Chakotay shook his head. "He doesn't seem to understand that I can't teach these kids to stick to the book at all costs. I don't want their deaths on my head.” He slid an arm around Kathryn as she laid her head on his shoulder. “He's never even served a single tour on a starship, much less went nose to nose with someone who wants to kill you."


She smiled slightly. "Or someone who regards you as prey."


"I'm not sure I can handle another lecture on Starfleet protocol." Her eyes closed and he kicked himself mentally for reopening the old wound. When she looked at him again, a look of shared sorrow at the years that were lost forever passed between them.


 He hurried to change the subject. "The problem with desk jockeys is that they don't understand the danger of going by the book – "


She laid a hand on his cheek. "Is that everybody reads the same damn book.”


A smile tugged at his lips until he remembered the rest of the day. "And then, I check my lesson plan for the rest of the month and find half of it's missing! The Academy computer system was compromised and one minute I had my lesson plan and the next a blue screen!"


"Is Tom taking any classes?" She laughed.


He glared at her before giving in to laughter. "No, but I think Tuvok must be in charge of Security." He ducked her playful slap. "Why don't we run away and join the circus?"


Smiling, she shook her head and tipped her face up to kiss him. Eagerly, he pressed his lips to hers, nibbling and licking at her. She moaned into his mouth as their tongues mated. A muffled giggle reminded them of the baby. Chakotay gave her one last quick kiss and a nip at her lower lip. "Better watch it, we'll squish him and have to make a new one.”


Kathryn laughed, but he caught the flash of sadness in her eyes. They hadn’t talked about having more children, but he knew she wanted them as badly as he did. They had both countered their contraceptives even before their wedding, and then watched as almost a year passed before she became pregnant with Rhien. In his heart he believed they would have more children when the time was right. “Come on, enough feeling sorry for ourselves." He got up and tugged her to her feet. "We've got a mess to pick up downstairs."


She groaned as she followed him downstairs.


At the bottom of the stairs, he picked up the diaper bag. "Spirits, what’s in here? Rocks? I almost broke my neck on this thing."


"Did you kick it down the stairs on purpose?" Her tone was sharp.


"Kathryn! You left it lying on the landing in a dark house!" He growled as he remembered almost falling down the stairs. "If it hadn’t been for the banister, I’d be the one lying at the bottom of the stairs!"


She froze and clutched at his arm. His anger faded instantly at the fear in her eyes. He pulled her into his arms to comfort her.


"I'm sorry." She whispered into his neck. 


"It's alright." He rubbed his hands up and down her back. Kathryn still seemed afraid at times that he would vanish. He smiled against her hair as he remembered their first weeks together after Voyager had come home, spending every possible moment with each other and making love frantically, as if it was a dream they would suddenly awaken from.


Rhien laughed and grabbed a handful of his father's hair. "Dada!" He yanked it painfully.


"Rhien! Daddy just started letting it grow out! You’ll make him change his mind!" She untangled the raven hair from his little fingers, kissing his hand before handing him to Chakotay. "What if you start in here while I get dinner organized?"


"Sure, stick me with the hazardous duty." He lifted Rhien up over his head and held him there. "Think I'm safe at this distance?" She chuckled and kissed his cheek as she headed for the kitchen.


"It's probably safer out here anyway." He swooped Rhien through the air and down into his playpen. "Mommy's dangerous in the kitchen."


"I heard that!"


Bending close, he whispered. "Well, she is." A loud shriek from Kathryn made his head snap up. His first thought was that there were Borg in the kitchen. In seven years in the Delta Quadrant, he'd never heard her scream.


Heart pounding, he snatched up Rhien and ran to the archway leading into the kitchen just in time to see a red blur shoot through the dog door. "Oops, forgot to tell Mommy the doggie ate our dinner."


He backed up a step as Kathryn spun around and leveled a death glare at him at a degree reserved for the reporters who wanted to hear about the "sexier side" of the Delta Quadrant.


"Bad doggie!" Rhien yelled at the top of his lungs. "Damn doggie!"


Chakotay backed up further as her glare jumped a level to the one reserved for the admirals who questioned her tactics. "Kathryn?" He watched her stalk past him to the bookshelf. She jerked a book from it and sat down. "What are you doing?"


"He put two words together." Kathryn began writing forcefully


"You're not putting that in his baby book, are you?"


"Yes. I am." She glared at him again. "Along with who taught it to him!"


Juggling Rhien, who was starting to whimper from the tension in the air, he whispered. "Can Daddy sleep with you tonight?" Maybe I'll get lucky and Tom will teach you something worse. He shook himself mentally. What am I thinking?


The baby clutched at his shirt and began to cry. "Shaa, shaa, it's okay." Chakotay bounced Rhien gently against his chest. "Mommy’s just upset because the doggie ate our dinner."


She set the book aside and moved over to stand next to them. "You know, B'Elanna warned us this was going to happen." Kathryn chuckled as she patted Rhien's back and wiped his tearstained cheeks. "We thought it was so funny when Miral called Owen a p'tahk."


"I'll bet she didn't write it in the baby book." He couldn't hold back a laugh. She glared at him, but her lips were twitching slightly as if holding back a smile.


Rhien looked from one to the other, confused by the sudden change in moods. Then he laughed and reached for his mother. “Mama!”


"How about you take laughing boy here." He handed over their son. "And I'll go make us dinner. What do you want, more Chinese?"


"How about filet of Irish Setter?" She shot a look at the dog door.


"Bad doggie!"


Chakotay laughed and kissed Rhien's cheek and then Kathryn's. "Yes, Rhien. Bad doggie. I'll make dinner if you clean up the mess. Deal?"








Scrolling through the notes on one of the PADDs in his lap, Chakotay cursed whoever had wormed their way into the Academy computers. His notes for the semester were in bits and pieces scattered through four PADDs. When did I become so unorganized?


Feeling Kathryn’s eyes on him, he looked up to see her frowning. She must have thought he’d cussed. He grinned at her before she bent her head back to her own work. He hadn’t but it wouldn’t be much better for Rhien to go to school one day and wish a visit from Coyote on one of his classmates.


Turning back to the PADD in his hand, he scrolled through the notes he’d made weeks ago. Everything he’d looked at tonight pointed to a fifth PADD that he couldn’t find. With a growl, he dropped the PADD on the sofa with the others.


Looking down, he saw Rhien carefully sorting his toys into piles. A frown creased the little face as he looked from one pile of toys to the other. "Fyer."  He looked up at his father "Fyer?"

He remembered stepping on it earlier and then tossing it aside. Where is the damn thing? "How about the kitty?" He offered the small black cat that was lying on the sofa.

"No." Rhien shook his head. "Fyer."


"That would be your favorite toy wouldn't it?" Sighing, he stood up and tried to remember which way he'd slung the toy.

"It was right there on the blanket when we left." Kathryn looked up from her PADD. She frowned. “Oh, don’t tell me I left it at Headquarters. It’s probably in his playpen in my office.” She said with a sigh.

"Ah… I might have thrown it."


"You might have thrown it?" She cocked an eyebrow at him

"I stepped on the dam -- darn thing!" He tugged at his ear. "Do you think he'd believe there was a spatial anomaly?"

"He’s ten months, Chakotay!"

"But he's a very bright ten months." He grinned at her.
 "Fyer!" Rhien had decided he'd waited long enough for his favorite toy to magically reappear. "Dada! Fyer!"

"She’s the captain, you're the king, what am I?" He groused as he got down to look under the sofa. Toys seemed to migrate there like a black hole lurked under it.


He saw the small ship at the back, almost against the wall. “Ah ha!”  Dropping to his belly, he stretched to reach the toy. He heard Rhien giggle just before he felt him crawl up on his back.  Kathryn was laughing. "Stop laughing and help me!"


Chakotay felt his son's weight lifted off his back. Tossing the toy out, he backed out from under the sofa and found himself looking straight down Kathryn's dress as she bent over to set Rhien back down on the blanket. She hadn't bothered with a bra or panties when she’d dressed earlier and he could see her bare breasts. A sharp rap on his head made him look up. "What? You expect me to believe you weren't looking at my as -- butt a minute ago?"


“Oh, that wasn’t for looking down my dress. It was for throwing his toy earlier.” She grinned and smacked him lightly once more. “And that was for throwing it again just now.” She finished with a chuckle.


"Sorry, beloved." He grinned sheepishly. "It got away from me. You know my luck with shuttles."

After she retreated back to her chair, he watched as Rhien scooted the Flyer across the blanket. From what he could tell, it was chasing the blue block. Borg? When the toy moved up onto his leg and slid up to his belly, Chakotay grabbed him and pulled him up to blow on his belly. Delighted squeals filled the room. “Chasing the Borg? You do take after Mommy.”

Putting him down on the blanket, he waited until Rhien had crawled a few feet before grabbing him by the ankle and pulling him back to hold him down and tickle him. Letting go, he waited until the baby was almost out of reach before grabbing him once again.


“His name fits him so well.” Kathryn mused aloud.


“Yes it does.” Rhien laughed and giggled as he was hoisted up by his father and tickled again. “B’Elanna did a good job. Didn’t she, Rhien?”


“Anbe’!” Rhien held up the black cat.


“Yes, that’s from Aunt B'Elanna.” Days after the baby had been born, B'Elanna had triumphantly showed them the name she’d stumbled over after days of searching.  Rhien. It means ‘laughing’ in Latin. It also means ‘little king’ in Celtic.  The name had proven prophetic. Rhien was a happy baby, laughing and giggling, and his extended family had made him the center of attention.


He watched as Rhien attacked the blue block with the Delta Flyer and the black cat. “There’s a strategy we didn’t try.”


“You’re the tactician, why didn’t you recommend it? Although, now that I think about it, I don’t remember seeing any black cats out there to help us.” Kathryn laughed. “Not that I’d have turned down their help.”


Chakotay grabbed Rhien’s ankle again, making him laugh. This time when he let go, Rhien crawled up on his chest and yawned in mid giggle. He looked surprised and confused, as if he didn’t know where the yawn had come from.


"Think it’s time somebody went to bed." Kathryn said.

 "I'll take him up." Chakotay kissed the soft golden cheek. "He’s had a tough day. Took on a Borg cube with just the Flyer and the kitty.”  Getting to his feet, he held Rhien out so Kathryn could kiss him. "You coming to bed?"

 "Go ahead and take him up. I’ve got to finish this report.” She kissed Rhien and ran her fingers through his raven hair. "I’ll clean up his majesty's toys. Good night, my tired little boy."


“Don’t stay up too late." He bent and kissed her softly. "I get lonely without you."


Upstairs, Chakotay turned the lights on in Rhien’s room and walked to the dresser for a nightshirt. Like his father, he preferred to sleep in as little as possible. Kathryn had put her foot down when he tried to put Rhien to bed in only his diaper and they had compromised on t-shirt and no pants.


He looked up as Kathryn came into the room. “Done already?”


“I realized I had much more important things to do.” Her fingers kneaded into his shoulder muscles as she smiled at him.


Smiling back, he realized that Kathryn had finally shifted from full time Starfleet officer to wife and mother. She had been muttering for the last several weeks about cutting down to Monday through Friday and only eight hours a day and ‘Starfleet can take it or leave it’.  Hayes would no doubt be in for a surprise in the morning.


Rhien yawned and rubbed his eyes. “He’s ready for bed; he’s half asleep now.” Chakotay pulled the blue jumper off and tossed it to Kathryn to put in the refresher. “Piloting the Flyer wore him out.”


Kathryn switched on the intercom system for the room before leaning over the bed and ruffling the baby’s silky hair.


Quickly putting on a fresh diaper, he pulled a clean t-shirt over the nodding head. Rhien looked up at him and smiled sleepily. Chakotay sucked in his breath at the pure love in his son’s eyes. “You’re right, Kathryn.”


“Right about what?” She frowned slightly as their eyes met.


“Black velvet.” He choked down the lump in his throat. “His eyes.”


“Yours too.” She trailed her fingers lovingly over the dark lines on his brow. “Both my men have such beautiful black velvet eyes.”


Capturing her hand, he pressed a kiss to her palm. It was a phrase she used openly now but the memory of her whispered confession on their first night still moved him. All those years he’d had no idea she’d had any romantic thoughts about him. A whimper drew his attention. Dragging his eyes from Kathryn’s, he saw that Rhien was making one last attempt at fighting off sleep.


Rolling him over onto his belly, Chakotay pulled the blanket up over him. “Go to sleep, little man.” Chuckling, he watched as his son grunted and wriggled to get comfortable, finally settling with his knees under him. Patting the small butt that was sticking up, he turned and found Kathryn was gone.


Switching the lights off, he left the baby’s room. In the hallway, he noticed a dim light flickering through the bathroom doorway. Leaning on the doorjamb, he watched Kathryn as she bent and turned off the water pouring into the bathtub. Candles were lit at various places around the room, making it cozy and intimate.


While he watched, she slowly unbuttoned her dress and let it slip off. She stood for a moment letting the candlelight paint her pale body with red and gold. Kathryn’s body was trim and fit, denying both her age and the fact that she had carried his child.


Licking his lips, Chakotay watched as her hands slid over her breasts, fuller now since Rhien’s birth, then down her belly until the fingers of one hand slid through the red curls covering her mound. Her eyes were locked on his and her smile was one as old as Eve. Turning, she stepped delicately into the tub and relaxed back into the bubbles.


Two can play at that game. Casually, he unbuttoned his pants. He watched as her tongue flicked out to lick her lips. When he raised his hands to the buttons of his shirt, he saw her eyes flash with disappointment and he couldn’t hold back the smug smile.  Slowly, he unbuttoned the buttons. Carefully, one by one.


Sliding the shirt off one shoulder and then the other, he dropped it on top of her dress. Sliding the zipper down, Chakotay let his pants slip down his hips, his thighs, to finally pool around his feet and be kicked away. Cupping his balls with one hand, he wrapped the other around his cock and stroked it slowly. She liked to watch him touch himself, almost as much as he enjoyed watching her pleasure herself.


Kathryn’s nostrils flared and her eyes darkened with desire. From where he stood he could hear her panting. Smiling slowly, he walked to the tub. She leaned forward so he could get in behind her.


Leaning back, he pulled her against him, settling her bottom snugly against him. Her skin was slick and slippery against his, her belly quivered as his hands slid up to cup her breasts and squeeze gently. The soft spot behind her ear begged to be kissed. “You know, maybe this isn’t such a bad day after all.” Her throaty laugh filled the room as he nibbled at the delicate curve of her neck.



Go here to read Kathryn And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Ralkana

Back to the main page for more Voyager fic